how inconsiderate of you

We all can not be the same person. Each of us has our own personality. Whether it will be annoyed to others…, that another story.

But, what is the right way to handle your own annoying friend? Your friend, who already knew you perfectly well that:
1. you despise waiting for more than half an hour
2. you hate to get a cancellation on a gathering in about 3 seconds before the due time
3. You hate being a second priority, like you are meeting with your friend but instead chatting with you, she or he busy talking with someone else.
4. People who never understand which things that need to be taken seriously or not.

Examples for the above:
I have this friend who always late on about everything. She is late when she was supposed to show up on our gathering. Or in another time when I came to her flat, she was still not ready and I end up sleeping on her couch because I have to wait for her to take a bath and get dressed. And she do that again and again. Later, I found out that all her old friends are like that. When they promised to meet each other at five, usually all of them finally meet up around eight. Or like this someone that I knew in the office. While all her team was ready to get back to the office from their meeting at this hotel, she without hesitation… take a spa and let the others wait for her for 1 hour!

2. Okay, let’s meet up at Metro around 2. And when I arrived there, 2 minutes to go before 2, I got a call with cheerfull voice saying that she or he (mostly is a she) will not be able to go because she has another long time no see friend coming over or she just got lazy.

3. You went to her house, as promised. To have a chat or whatever. But, suddenly her phone ring…, it’s from old time long time not heard friend… and since meeting with you is already common… she choose to have a very loooong chat with her buddy and left you stranded in her living room.

So, what to do if you have friend, like this? From my experience, getting mad or angry is such a waste of time. Because it will do no good to both of you. This kind of person, practically did not understand that they did something wrong. It is beyond their imagination, that their act has driven other people mad. Probably, they will say to you like, with their innocence voice: Oh, did I make anyone else angry? I am sorry then… if they are angry…

Please note, that this people apologizing, simply because you are mad and not because she knew her doing is wrong.

Then what to do? Simple, really. For once, forget that you are you. Act as if you are them. Since, they do not think that make you waiting forever is annoying… then it would not be a problem if you just ditch them, right? If they asked you in bewilderment (not angry, just confuse)… Just said innocently that you thought they could not make it because you have already waited for them for more than 20 minutes. And, please do not expect them to changed after you did that. They will not. And so, you just have to do that every time they are late.

And if they like to cancel in the very last minutes… well, you are the foolish one. Do not take it too seriously every time you make an appointment. You have to make another appointment and use the appointment with them as a back up plan. So, if this back up plan can not be done… well, it is only a back up plan anyway…? Why Bother?

You got neglected? Oh, do not be such a baby. Call your other friend as well… and do not think too much about how much that call will cost you… Just having fun and talk as long as you can. If possible, talk longer than they are… So, you will be busy to even think that you are being ignored.

Or….if you really so fed up with it….just get a new friend…
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