Being silly...

Sometimes I do wonder to myself why oh why I have a diary.... I usually write all the miserable things that has been going on in my heart as I am not too comfortable to talk about it with other people...

Anyway, I have this classmate who always says thing (most likely) without thinking... I have forgotten the offended words came out from her mouth but I do remember that I do not like her for that... And therefore kinda glad that I did not spend my college time together with her...

A few weeks ago, I run into another class mate from high school. She contacted me via Facebook and asked me to have small gathering. Just me, her and the other person is that girl that I do not like... Then out of the blue, I started to open my online diary and bumped into an old posting. Exactly about the classmate that I dislike... I wrote, that after a few years not seeing each other she still not changed at all by asking me this,"So, did you finally find any blind person who want to be your bf?"

What is that suppose to mean? Is it just me being too sensitive or she just being trashy as usual?

And because of reading that, I decided not to have that small gathering after all...

Call me an idiot, but at this age, I do not think I want to see someone that always manage making me uncomfortable...

Of course I also wondering why it is so hard for me to forget all of that? I mean, why I have to be so affected by the things she said? Is it really matter that I am still single and she already married with children? So what? Does by not want to see her because I am afraid that I am just prooving to her that she know I am going to be like this after high school? Because she has been successfully destroy my confidence and I do not want to give her the satisfaction to see me still single? If I have been saying outloud that I am okay with being single then what is the big deal for me to just go to the gathering and show her that I am doing just fine?

Then again, I think I need to be with real friends that have been with me through happiness and sadness all these times rather than seeing someone from the past that will only know how to mock me around...

We'll see about it later....
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