Single, in relationship, complicate

Long ago, I was a bit annoyed whenever I heard conversation like this :

Hey, you remember about X?

Yeah, I do. She is a real demon in disguise, is she not?

Well, she is a very different person now. What could I say, erm more human? No kidding?

She has zero tolerance with other people. As if she is alone against the world! Yeah, she has married now. So, she was a bit less bitchy. In fact, there was no trace of her old ways. She has been reborn.

Oh, and she is married? No wonder, then!

And I was like, what? Our sanity toward others determined whether we have married or not. If you are not married, you have lack of compassion to people around you. Then, when you got married, all of sudden you have changed into a very different person. Is it really like that?

According to my friend, because we are still single, we never tried to compensate or have tolerance with other people. Since we acted on our own, we have no one to think about (do not include parents) and we did not like others interfering with our life. She gave me this example, her current relationship. She said, she usually just let it out her anger to others if the other party; for example, did not come on time on an appointment. But she could not do that with her boyfriend. If her boyfriend came in late, instead of being angry she mopes about why he was so late. And usually, her boyfriend would beg for her forgiveness. Or if she was the guilty one, she used the same tactic. So, the conclusion is because a spinster like me never had any experience in having relationship with others, we tended to let our emotional and ego blow up. When we are having a steady relationship, we (almost) would do anything to keep it long lasting.

You want more examples? Okay, let us discuss about having relationship with your friend. There were events that took place, which you knew the mistake was on their side. But did we just blurt it out to our friend? Most of the time, we prefer not to for so many reasons. We did not wish to hurt them or we just afraid to break the friendship by saying the truth. Or we did not wish to loose them because what we would have said to them. We are so afraid that they will be angry and break the friendship. I think, having a serious relationship with a guy, will be sort of like that huh?

Wondering if a relationship is also about being ourself and honest, both romance relationship and friendship…
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