knowing or not knowing...

When my Mom first admitted to the hospital due to her diabetic, she was referred to an internist in the same hospital.

At first, we do not like her doctor. He seems a very uptight person. And whenever we asked him, he does not have enough patience to answer them. We were wondering should we have another internist…but in the end we decided to stick with him.

After a year being his patient, his attitude toward my Mom has changed drastically. He paid more attention to her complains, he asked about her progress, he even watched her weight scale… In short, he was totally different from the first we saw him. He became my Mother’s favorite doctor because he always cares for her.

I remember the old phrase, I do not know you therefore I can’t love you.

It is hard for us to care for someone that we do not know about… We keep on saying that…
“Well, I do not know that person… How can I care for him or her if I have no knowledge about that person?”

It would be worse if that person is not talkative and more the keep it to yourself kind of person. We will feel that this person is not open up to others…so how could you I understand them better? How can you develop any feelings?

Of course, naturally the above questions and statements does not apply to us who adore movie stars or other public figures.

Do we know them personally? Noooo
Do they know us personally? Noooo
We only know that they are gorgeous, sincere (or so it seems), kind (so appear) and super talented…

Kinda a contradiction…, right? ^_______^

Between internet and reality

A few nights ago a friend of mine said that she wants to decrease her activities on the net.
"I have been spending too much time with this media... My life has been nothing else but to do with this..."

Though I was sort of...what...? Nooo... Don't leave me here...I can understand why she makes that decision. I suppose she wants to spend more time with real people around her, such as her family. At least for this moment, she does not close her accounts on FB for example.

I sometimes think that if you have reached to the drastic decision like closing all your accounts on the net, it because probably the addiction or temptation is too great for the person to handle. Like u try to reduce eating chocolate once a day. But there are 5 chocolates in your fridge. Can u promise yourself not going to eat them all at once or you just give in and finish them all in a few minutes? Since you are not sure, you better not have it more than one in your fridge.

I have never been in a situation of addiction to the internet or game too long. I get bored easily. And my internet connection is a disaster. Plus, I am too busy in the office to lurking around the net. Not too sound like I am work-addict...but that's the reality. Which is why I do wonder why a married couple can sit together, but not talking to each other. Both of them glued to their notebook or any other devices.

For me, internet open a lot of new things for me. I have new friends, know about online diary, and find many interesting information and...some u-should-not know about;) so, for now I do not think I can stop myself totally from internet. Though I agree I should not be addicted to it ...

We forget the real people around us that probably miss talking with us. Instead we are too busy with people living so far away... Probably because we do not know each other, we are able to open our heart and mind. However, we close them to people that we have known for years...

Hopefully we can balance our understanding and communication for people around us and those in the virtual environment:)
And friends, pppllllllease do not leave me here on the net... I like having you here though you are not really here with me.

Don't postpone..., do it now please

Never postpone whatever things that you want to do... Seriously...

Perhaps all of us still remember how we used to cram every time the examination period ... You try to memorize all the lessons that you have been studying the whole year with no success at all... Your brain feels like it was going to explode... But then again, we loves doing that every time we have to face examination time... It's our thing... Why study now when you can do that later? I think knowing that bad behavior , during my time in high school our teachers loves giving us quizzes. For a day, we could have three up to five quizzes... Most of us screaming for help because how in the heck you could study all of that in one day? (though actually we have the whole week.... but who would wanted to spend their Sunday to study and memorize the lesson, little by little?) One of our classmates sarcastically said that is okay to have more than one quizz considering we have paid tuition to the school... If the teacher did not give us quizz, will be our lost instead of them. Right....

Another reason why people postpone the thing they wish to do, probably because they still hesitate. I have seen my parents and other member of the families, unable to decide the departure date in order for them to buy the airline ticket. Nowadays, where the airline tickets fare can change drastically in just one day... and they still unable to make up their mind on what date they should be going. Errr, should I go on that date or this date? What? I have to decide now? But it is still a week away? What if something happen and I can't go? Oh dear... Then don't complain if the ticket suddenly change its price or just go there to the airport and purchase it on the spot... They will give you the highest price ever considering that it must have been urgent that you need to leave today.

In other words, even if the due time still far away ahead, if you can finish it by today then why the heck not? Yeah, it is easier say than done. I know. I am one of them...who like to pending whatever I can do by this moment... Hopefully, I will learn how to manage my time and stop postpone all the things I should have been doing now...

Hmmmm, maybe I should set up a to-do list starting....from NOW!

Let the skeleton out of the closet

There are so many reality shows on local tv nowadays. One that really captivated my family is this hypnotizes show… The show is about a presenter who has the ability to hypnotize other people. He with his crew will stroll around the mall and asking people whether they agreed to be hypnotized. Naturally they will share all their deepest secrets. After being waken up from the hypnotized state, the presenter shown whatever happened during the time that person was hypnotized. If they feel that they did not want it to be shared with other people on TV, then the presenter would not air it. But if they feel fine with it, then they have to sign a legal paper, stated that they are agree that whatever they were saying will be shown on tv.

I wasn’t following all of the episodes of the shows, but here were summaries of the few episodes which my parents watching:

About a teenager girl who despise her mother because she thinks her mother is totally ugly. She always saying to her friends that it is not her mom instead is her maid. She always sure she is being adopted kid. (When I asked my cousin who also watched the show, is the teenager girl drop dead gorgeous? The answer is : NO)

About a young girl who actually does not love the guy he is currently dating now. She said she only wants to date him because this-so-called-ugly guy is giving her money all the time. But the truth is, she despise him. Naturally after the show, the guy said he will break off with this girl and the girl, in spite all the things she has said during being hypnotized… try to sooth him and saying she loves him a lot.. (LOL)

About a teenage girl who has two boyfriends… She said she could not make up her mind… She said she loves the other one because he is handsome. But he has no money. The other person is ugly but has a lot of money… The one that with her during the hypnotized process is of course the ugly one. The guy is so furious, he break up with her on the spot. And the girl keep on denying to whatever she said…

Now, my questions are:

Are those events are real? I mean, are they really randomly pick out of nowhere?
If they are really real people, why they have no shame at all? Or perhaps they wants to say it out loud whatever they are hiding but have no courage and use this opportunity to spill it all
Why we love to watch it? (including me… Did I find it funny to see other people misfortune?)

Massage

Well, this is another topic about what most Indonesian really like to. Getting a massage. And plus coin massage (if you have no idea what a coin massage is, you may look at : coin massage) This process will require an experience person with a coin. Preferable an old coin which is heavier than the new coins. The next process the masseur will rub your body with that coin. Yup, believe me. For people who love it, they feel that every rub will help them to drive the pain away from their body. For me, just one rub is equal with me being sliced with a sharp knife. The second rub with the coin, is equal with another slice in the exact same place as before. And the next one, and the next one.

When I was a kid, I used to get sick a lot. Someone recommended this masseur to my Mom, so every weekend we went to her house. I totally hate it. Whenever weekend comes I became nervous because it means we have to go the masseur's house for treatment. And to be honest, I did not feel the joy come out of it. All I can remember is the pain whenever the masseur give my body a massage. If other people feel the refreshment after getting the massage, I feel like have been hit by someone.

And to add the torment, the masseur feel that I need to have a massage coin as well…! That is how I am able to describe the pain that I felt during the process… If foreign people saw the red and blue lines all over my back, they would have probably thought I have been abused by my parents

The thing is, I suppose because ever since I have the treatment ever since I was a kid…and it was meant to heal and not for fun, I never really enjoyed being massaged… Though I have to admit, after that torturing process, I hardly fall sick for a long time and I finally able going on a ride without having nausea. All my friends, considering me as a good masseur… Believe it or not… But to have it for myself, I would rather say no… Even when I went to beauty parlor, and get a hair spa or something…. After the masseur gives my head a massage, I will certainly have a headache after the process…

So, friends… please do not take me to go to a holiday for getaway spa, whatever spa… because I hate being massaged! And definitely no way to coin massage!

I am not senile, am I?

Have you ever once pretty sure that you have placed this book somewhere on your desk, but then when you try to find it, the book was no longer there… And then, after an hour or so, the book sort of suddenly there…again… As if the book was in somewhere else for a while. Perhaps to get a drink or something then it return to the previous place.

I once watched this comedy serie, about ghosts… One of the ghost loves hiding things and then return it again … “I love drive human crazy… One minute it was there, next minute already gone… then later it was there… again…”

Well, I am not going to talk about ghost or anything… I think I have discussed about this before… Is about why we are being so forgetful!

I am sure most of us have this experience of a total blackout on something… Like a few hours ago, you just put this book somewhere in the house… You just have no idea where exactly. You remember arriving at home, take the book out from your bag… and after that… whoosh… you are absolutely unable to remember anything…

I have experiences…, which was always happens when I was about to have my Christmas leave from this office… The night before, I have made sure that nothing was left behind in the office. Considering that I was not going to visit office for two weeks. Then in the morning, I realized I forgot something. It was my wallet for the first time. Naturally I was panicked. I called all credit card issuers to block my credit cards. I called the bank report about the loosing atm. I even traced back to places where I have been the previous night… Nothing… Then, after arriving at home exhausted … I opened my drawer to look for a pen, and there …lying the wallet that I have been looking like crazy. That was one.

The second one, I was pretty sure that last night I have taken the charger out of my bag. I put it in my desk along with other things… Yeah, I know I am a messy person… Anyway, you can imagine how confuse I was to find that the charger has gone missing… I search everywhere… I took other things up as the charger might hidden under it… But nada. Nothing. Again, I tried to traced back places that I have been before… even considering to call the taxi’s company to ask them did I leave a charger on their cab last night? And that after giving up and decided to get a new one, I look again in the desk… and it was there… I am sure it was there all the time, but why oh why it has to gone missing and drive me like crazy for a few hours?

Is this the sign that we are going to be senile in the early age…?

Geez… , I hope not…

Talk is a problem...

Being the only child, I love to talk a lot whenever I was in school...

My Mother loves repeating stories to our relatives, about how the teacher describe me whenever she has to pick up my report cards in school
"Your daughter doing okay in all subjects... Having a bit of problem with Math, but nothing to worry about... However...,"the teacher stop to take a breath ..."She loves to talk a lot... even during the class and that is disturbing her friends (really? if my friends were disturbed they would have told me to stop talking, right?) ... So, you may want to advise her on that..."

Yeah, I know I loves talking... One of the teacher finally have enough of that, she called me to her desk in the front of the class, then as a "gift", she put ducktape on my mouth! ^^;; But lucky for me, there was this health inspection who comes regularly to check our teeth... So, I told the teacher that I have problem with my teeth, and reluctantly the teacher open the ducktape.... and I was finally free again... Not talking of course.... but at least I have successfully remove the duck tape...^______^

My talking hobbies finally brought trouble to me in Senior High School. Our headmaster is Mother Superior in this Catholic School. One of my classmate told her about me loves to talk in class and ever since she always lurking inside the class room, try to find out whether I was in the action or not. And like you have suspected, I did...
Our school was using this old building. Each classrooms has big wide open window. And to make the matter worse, my class located near the nun's dormitary. When there was no teacher in our class, we all start talking loudly and throwing stuffs to the air.... We were all having the great time on our life, up to the moment when we saw something white passing the window and then...there she was... Our headmaster. Looking at us coldly. I could still remember her stare which could only be defeated by the stare of ghost in Japanese horror movies.

And naturally after that, she would call us all , the guilty students, gathered all us in front of her office, yelling us... She was probably the main reason I could not wait to finish high school....

After all these years, I still unable to forget her.... And I think neither of the other students of hers. She said she has becoming headmaster since the year 1969... I was not even born yet! My friend once told me that her Dad's friend apparently was one her student. When he visited her Dad, he asked my friend, if that scary headmaster still teaching in our school... LOL...

Nowadays, I still love to chat..., I suppose.... Of course with no fear that my headmaster will look at me coldly from the window of our classroom and give me the cold stare that could turn you into a stone ^^;;

The Freedom Of mind, will and act

Today, as per the old tradition, Indonesian celebrate Kartini's day. She considered as hero for women to have equal rights in life.

I am not going to debate whether she is the right person to be called women's hero for equal rights. But...just wants to give my humble opinion...
That in the world who has aged thousand of years...people still feel they have the right to tell what a woman should do.

Oh, I am not talking about men. But also from a woman's side. I hardly heard a man criticized another man about how he should dress up, whether he has the right to be lazy brat at home doing nothing, or should he also be responsible to take care of the children...
Women like to bickering about how other women dress up, stay single, married without kids, or how to educate their children, etc, etc, etc... How can we move forward if we are busy debating about what we can or can not do....?

What really women wants? Just let us have a freedom to think and act for our self. Whether we are going to be married and be a devoted housewife, or to stay single, or to work to support the family, or to work to fulfill her passion, or to get stoned or to get drunk...

That's the equal rights that we want!

Our life is belongs to us and it is up to us how we are going to spend it...!

Is that too much to ask?

Air Con addiction...

I know with this global warming issue and all, we are encouraged to reduce our use on electricity...

Easier said than done... I noticed that my Mom, has becoming more dependable on air con in her room. 3 years ago, I could still set up the air con with timer... So, usually after 1 AM or 2 AM, the air con will stop as our rooms were cold already.... Then, she complained saying she woke up sweating .... Since that time, we never turn off the air con for hours... The only time we turn it off when nobody is inside the room.

It reminded me ... around year 2001 or 2002, my friend who recently got married and expecting child, giving me lectures about how raising healthy kids. One of her lectures was about how fragile children nowadays as they are too pampered by their parents. According to her, children should not getting used to live with air con in the room.
"It is unhealthy because the air circulation will not be good considering the room will be closed all the time... ," she said. I just nodded. Pretending that I absorb this information.

Then finally her baby girl was born and I brought gifts to her baby girl to her house. To my surprise, the room for her baby IS using AIR CON!

When she saw my grinning face, she sighed and said,"Did you remember all the things that I say to you about how baby should not be sleeping in the room with air con?"

I nodded. Smiling. This was going to be good.

"Well, " she continued ."FORGET everything that I have ever teach you... We have tried that for few weeks.... She keep on crying .... None of us could get enough sleep..."

Right.... I forced myself to restrain the evil smile plastered on my face. Instead, I put concern face.

"The only time she stop crying when we take her outside the room into the living room...," she pointed the wider and broader living room, where obviously air circulation is better and much fresher... The air feel cooler in there... "Obviously we can not sleeping in the living room everyday! So..., well... as you can see... "

Okay... Friends, noted that was in the year 2002....

Then, around 20030- 2004, my niece was born... Pretty much the same with my friend's baby.... she could only sleep in the room with air con. Which was not a problem because her parents already set that up before she was born. The problem arise when all of us went to a part of East Java to my Aunt's house. We were going to spend our Christmas holiday, big family gathering. My uncle and aunt never have air con in their house though the weather is so hot and humid. To solve the matter, my cousin buy a big electric fan to be put in the room so her baby would at least feel comfortable... The result, the baby did sleep all night through and wake up smiling happily. Unfortunately for us, her mother and her aunts were all feeling sick because of the electric fan blowing hard on our bodies all night long...

So now, we were advised to reduce the use of air con? How could we??? When the weather is terribly hot ever since year 2001?

I need the bathroom!!

Since I can't hardly spend a day without at least taking a bath even once, so bathroom is the other things that me need THE MOST...

I suppose you must be think I am such a spoiled brat. Well, I guess I am, related to the bathroom ....

Whenever I go, like visiting a relatives or staying somewhere else, bathroom will be the second thing I look after the bed.... (you do remember that I can't sleep on the floor, right?)

I do not care if the bathroom is small, dirty or no lamp attached or whatever, as long as located inside the house. But, I really go panic whenever I visited a relatives and asked for bathroom, and they coyly said,"Oh, we have none... Just go the river over there..., blah..., blah,...blah..." or "Our bathroom is located outside the house..., near the well... blah, blah, blah..."

When I was in the fourth grade or something, for the first time we visited my Dad's home town in North Sulawesi. Since we stayed in a hotel during our stay in the city, there was no problem with the bathroom. Until we went to the village where my grandma live, that was when the trouble began. In each house we visited, we were greeted with warm smile and a cup of tea. You can imagine , if in a day we visited maybe about 5 houses, each houses served us a cup of tea, at the least.... you will feel your stomach going to blow up.... I wanted to go to the bathroom but most of them do not have bathroom inside the house. Finally there is one relatives who has bathroom near the house, so that would be fine for me... As long as I did not have to go to the river or something like that....

The second one that I remembered when we visited my grandma's (from my Mother's side) hometown in North Sumatra. There was no bathroom inside the house. I have to go the nearest neighbor to use their bathroom. The problem solved during the day. But since we were going to spend a night, I decided not to take any drinks after 6 PM! I did not care I was going to be thirsty or anything. I just wanted to avoid going to the bathroom that night. Unfortunately, the weather was terribly cold during the night. Early in the morning I could not stand anymore and were told to just get it on the sands... Yeah, it was like living around the beach, but it was actually in the highland somewhere in North Sumatra.... Obviously, we did not take a shower...

Now, after remembering all these, I do not think I can go traveling by backpacking... Such a wuss!

Shower is a must do

If you want to know what else Indonesian can’t live without…is taking a shower.

Well, mind you we live in a tropical country. And when I said tropical, it means seriously hot and humid. Even before this global warming issue arises, we have been living in a hot temperature ever since we were born. To drive away that sticky feeling in our skin, we take a bath or a shower… To feel the cold water run through our skin, drive away all the sweat from our body…is a wonderful thing to do… Usually we take a bath twice a day… But when we feel the weather is terribly hot, often we take three times a day!

I don’t know about other Indonesian people who go abroad, but as for me… I still need to take a bath… Even that only for once a day… And to wash my hair too… I just feel that if I do not take a bath for a day, let alone for a week… I will turn into a frog. Seriously…

So, have I ever once in my life was unable to take a shower even once a day?

Well, of course!!!

It was when the initiation time in the university. To make us newbies bonding together we have to go on a camping trip. Did I mention that I hate camping? Anyway, I have to sleep with other 7 girls in one tent. But that was not a big problem for me. The biggest problem was when I went to the so-called bathroom… I noticed that the water is dirty. Not to mention that sometimes there were frogs sitting around inside the big bathroom and staring back at us. Clean and decent water is hard to find. There was another big bathroom, where we all girls go in together and have a shower, sort of like the shower you do after swimming.

I remembered that we have to go on camping for 3 – 4 days (the longest period in my life) and I probably only took a shower once. The rest of the days I only took water to clean up my face and to brush my teeth.

So, there was no surprise when I arrived home, my body becoming itchy and my skin becoming full of rash. As if I have some kind of allergy or something.

I do not know if I can survive not taking bath for days even if I by any chance visit 4 seasons country. Perhaps I am just being spoiled… but…I sure do not want to get another rash on my skin for weeks just because I do not take a shower… Brrr…

Movie mania

What drive people to watch a movie?

I once asked my colleague to go with me to see a movie in a theatre. And she declined it by simply answering,” I do not like to spend my time sitting around in the darkness for hours… I would rather strolling the mall or have a chat with friends”

Yikes… Do we really waste our time by sitting in the darkness watching a movie?

I then make this list to see from myself, what are the things that drive me to go to watch movie:

Remembering good old days
Whenever my Dad was home from his works, he always takes me and my Mom to see the movie… I think watching movie is in our genes. Both of my parents love seeing movies when they were dating, and it is no surprise they also taking me along … So, watching movies is like remembering the old times ^_______^

Like the story
Usually I try to find out the plot from newspaper or now from the internet. If the story is interesting, it will intrigue me to see it for myself. Especially when is based on true story.

Hang out with friends.
Nothing is more fun than watching movies together with your friends and talk about it afterwards. Whether the story is good, sad, touching, thrilling, scary… We love discuss about it and have a great time on it

Eye candy
When there is nothing good come out from that movie, well at least we can enjoy ourselves by watching good looking faces on screen

The acting
Seeing other people portraying someone else’s on screen is always fascinating, well at least for me

That is fun, even thought only for making a list… So, now I am going to see a movie again…. With all the above reasons

See ya!

Supporting friends

People said that when we make friends, we should not be so picky. I mean, we should not limit our choices to only people who has the same hobby, or loves the same thing… Because we will never know, maybe if we have friends with different hobbies, we may find ourselves doing something new and it could broaden our perspective in life.

But…

If you want to pursue something in your life based on your hobby, then IMHO, we can really rely more on friends who have the same passion.

Okay, let me give you simple example :

You really are crazzzzzzyyy about this famous actor and thinking about seeing him in person when he comes to your town…
Imagine if you tell this plan of yours to your friend who has no idea who this actor is. The reaction probably will be:
ARE YOU NUTS? Don’t you realize you will only embarrass yourself? Do you think after seeing him, your life will change? He will be your friend?

While if you talk about it with your friends who also a die hard fans, the reaction will obviously be:
OHHH??? REALLY??? That’s a brilliant idea! We should go together (if you both in the same town) and could be: You should go… Oh, I am so envy at you… (if your friend live in another city and giving you the total support)

See the difference?

The positive thing from the negative respond given by people who do no understand your passion is they could give you an idea how to counter things that beyond your thinking. Like, what will happen if you do not see the actor, or if the actor refuse to be taken photo together with you, or just simply said,”You meet him and then what? No use comes to that…”

The negative side, they will bring you down… Thinking that there is no point to continue your plan because they may be right… There is nothing good come of it…

Talking with your friends who have the same passion could boost your spirit because they could give you insight what you should do to achieve the things that you want passionately. They as eager as you, can not wait to see you make your dream comes true because they enjoyed your passion just as they enjoy theirs.

And the little negative side…, because we all love the same thing, we might miss to see things that could be obstacles or others that need to for us to considerate.

Anyway, for now I choose to be with friends who understand my passion and share the same hobby. Because with them, I can ask for their help and input about what should I do next and stuffs. Sound selfish? I hope not ^_____^

Trouble sleeping?

I think I have once told you that I find it hard to sleep in a new place other than my home.

Seriously, I really envy those people (including one of my friends) who can easily doze off to the dreamland once they hit something soft, like a chair on the airplane or even inside a movie theatre... (well, okay....this is due to the boring movie....)

Me? I have to let my body adjust to the new environment first then on second day, after my body get comfy with the new surrounding...then I am able to go to sleep...

My other problem is I am unable to sleep on the floor. When my Mom and my Dad were ill in the year 2008, I have to spend at the least 2 nights in the hospital to stay with them. At night, I sleep on the floor with only a cloth to cover the floor and a blanket... And the next morning, it was like I got beaten by someone as my body feel sooo hurt:( Even I have spent months in the hospital to look after my parents, I still unable to sleep easily on the floor. No matter how tired I am .... Is this mean I am unable to be backpacker? Hehehehe

One other thing, I have a friend who is unable to share a bed with someone else during on vacation... Hahahaha.... Well, a few years ago I could not do that too... I really hate to imagine that I have to share a bed with other people .... That usually happenned when I go with group tour from the church. There was this big long bed. So, like stock of meats ready to be sold, there were about 10 people sleep on the same bed. I can hardly move and just stay on one position. But eventually I am able to do that.... and seeing how my close friend unable to do so kinda reminding me in the old days. Last vacation, we sleep on the same bed, she sleep on the other side... really sleep on the edge of the bed. If she makes one move, she is probably going to fall. While I sleep on the other side of bed. If people not knowing us being a friend, they would have thought by seeing our position...these two must have gone through hell of a fight and now they are not talking to each other....

Hehehe....

Well, I suppose sleeping is about comfort and when your body is not get that comfort feeling... then it will refuse to let the body relaxing and have some rest.

Really need to know how to let loose and relax, I suppose and not getting tense all the time :)

Don't over do!

A friend of mine discuss about something funny yesterday…

About a guy who has been sending signal to this girl, that he likes her and wants to takes a step further. But this girl, who knows about this guy intention, has been sending signal that she DOES NOT wants to take things further.

So, my friend said, she wondered why people sometimes not able to pick up a sign that the opposite party is just not interested… Instead, they keep on giving the “I LIKE U” signal and the desperate party trying so hard to reply with the “SORRY I DO NOT INTERESTED” signal…

I guess when we like someone; we will try so hard to deliver the message to the person that we like. We are sort of hoping that the person will notice the signal and respond with the way we want them to be…

Of course, the things that has been do with over doing…sometimes give another reactions like :

Desperate : Oh, dear…how to tell this person that I do not like the way she / he feel about me?

Scare : First I think is okay for him / her to have a crush on me but now I am starting to worry…

Annoyed : Gosh, can he/she have other activities rather than just lurking around for me???

Angry : Okay I think I have enough of this…

Dislike : I thought she/he is nice but I guess I have to tell her/him the truth…

Hahaha…. Too much imagination of me ^^;;

I suppose when you are trying to send a signal about anything, just do not over do otherwise not only that the addressed people will not get the message. It will (probably) cause the above reaction. And that will be the awkward moment for all of the parties involved…

To be or not to be...

I know I have been talking about being nice to other people...

BUT...

Not that I want to take back what I have said, just want to add a bit of advice...

You can be nice, just not too nice...to certain people.

Like for example, I was about to buy new glasses last week. So, after strolling around my friend and I finally found this optical store. My friend who has good eyes on almost about everything, picked me a very good looking glasses that fit with my round face.

The staffs in charge seems professional enough. So, after checking my eyes and everything I ask for the receipt note as I need for the reimbursement. This is when the annoying behavior started. Perhaps seeing me behave polite and nice previously, one of the employee started to say that they could not give the receipt notification before the glass is hand over to me. WHAT? But I have paid the glasses, at this moment. Not with down payment first and pay the rest later. So, I demanded to be given to me now. And then he find another excuses that this is the rule from their management. And the next was they do not have stamp duty for the receipt.

I then looked at my friend and speak slowly but make sure that they heard this,"If only I know this is going to waste my time, I would rather look in another optical store..."

Ah, the magic word... PURCHASING CANCELLATION

After hearing that, they started to do whatever they can to provide me with the receipt note. I hardly smile anymore leaving that store. Thinking, why people sometimes taking advantage of others for being nice.

The reason we are being nice is because we respect you as another human being, though at the moment I am the customer and you should give me service.

Being nice does not mean you can walk all over me for your own benefit...

Gosh, no wonder most people behaving like a jerk!!!

Pinch it hard!!!


From the previous posting, I suddenly remember about this information which I received few years ago.

First of all, let us talk about relationship between customer service staffs and The Customer.

Customer is always right and therefore is a king… Often they just burst in and find anyone whose luck is running out and scream loudly at the person… Almost about everything… Their dissatisfaction, their disappointment… They probably already angry about something else and just want to find a release… Either way, if we are the Customer Service Staff at that time…, what will we do?

The management already teach (or should I say, give proper training) how to handle difficult customer. The kind of person who can make your life a living hell and make you wish you could hire a killer to wipe this person out of this planet. Okay, that is too much. But let us think again. If we are in the good mood, we probably could use the energy of our good mood to muster a smile or a soothing voice. Calm manner and ensuring tone in our voice…MIGHT able to help us to persuade the customer to relax.

Then again, what happened if you also in the bad mood? Surely you can not retort back to the customer and yell them to go to hell? But how to put that (not) sincere smile plastered on your face while all you wanna do is strangle the customer?

Several companies gave this STRESS BALL, placed under the table. So, while the customer service staff keep on smiling to the angry customer, they can release their stress by pinching the ball as hard as they want to…! I heard that within a month, the stress ball need to be replaced with a new one. Must be some kind of customer… ^________^

I just remembered that I have one at home… ah, there it is…


So, watch out people… If you yelled at someone sitting on their desk…, keep on smiling at you with their hand under the table… Oh! Relax… They are not about to grab a gun or knife! But their hand is busy pinching the stress ball, with the imagination that it is YOU that they are keep on pinching (or strangling!)

Be nice! But not too nice ^__^

Getting used to it

My friends and I often exchange story about people around us… Those who are so unbelievable bully, ass-kisser, back stabber, in short evil in the body of a human being.

I just realized recently, that whenever they talked about someone who is juvenile or vindictive…I will cut them short by saying…,”Oh I know a lot of people who like that…” As if I was going to say them,” Pleaseee…, you only have to deal with one person and already you can’t stand it?”

Then recently it hit me, why was I behaving like that?

Is it because I constantly receiving all bad treatments from people around me so I expect that is something natural thing in this life? That is a common thing happens to all of people as part of a journey to the adult life? Then if others complain about these kind of abusive people we just dismissed this as if no big deal or whatsoever?

It is a sad fact in life that sometimes we have to endure all the worst treatment just to hang on to something that we need. We just feel that is a price we have to pay to keep on receiving the things that we need. As the time goes by, we feel is a common things to do…and there is nothing so strange about it. No need to fuss about. We still do not like it, but there is nothing we can do…

Should we allow that abusive and juvenile behavior affecting us? Will it change our perspective in life? Are we going to change become the same person like people who bully us day after day for years? Or we will take action and do something about it?

Do you really want it?

When a friend of mine sent me sms around 03.42 AM, I of course curious what the heck she was doing for able to stay up that late!
She then told me that she has been blog walking and found a blog with an interesting topic. It is about priority.

The meaning of priority according to the online dictionary is : something given or meriting attention before competing alternatives.

So, something that need to be done first or it could mean something that you want the most to be accomplished in your life… up to the things that you wish to buy with limited budget…

Now I am going to talk about the things that I wish to buy or have but unfortunately after reality check, I realized I only have limited budget…

Books / magazines
CD
Notebook
Going out with friends (this means lunching, dining, watching movies, drinking coffee)
Digital Camera
Traveling
Language courses
Modem for the internet browsing
TV cable subscription
Clothes
Shoes
Accessories
Bags


Hmmmph…
Naturally I can not have all the above at this moment… So…I have to start to revise the list based on which one that I am dying to have right now… Okay…that’s exaggerating.

First, I need to revise the above list and determine which of the above that I really want to have. I have to check based on how much the things will cost me. Is my budget covering all the cost? But what if the thing that I do want the most is exceed the budget? Will I just replace with other things that I also want and able to buy at this moment? Or will I decided to keep pursue it and decided to delete all the other things from the list. I will keep on saving and saving up to the moment I am able to get it…

The question is… will I be patient enough to wait and to keep on saving for it? How much I really it so it has driven me to make it my first priority? Do I really want it? Will I able to restrain myself not buying things that I actually want as well in order to get the one that already become my priority?

But then again, if I have made up my mind to make that my priority…then nothing will stop me to do whatever I can in order to accomplish it.

Soooo, what do I really want from the above list….hmmmmm… ^_________^

Appreciate others

I do not like cooking. I like to watch people preparing meals starts from buying the ingredients up to the process it self. But to do it by myself…, can’t really imagine myself standing in the kitchen preparing meals to be served. Perhaps because I often watched in dismay on someone who has been preparing meals all day and still receive respond like : You miss this ingredients. I do not like this, the fish is not fresh. I am not going to eat this, it feels terrible.

I think, cooking is also a working process. A work that being done either because that person have to or driven by the passion. For example, you love cooking. You are passionate about it. Starting from just being a hobby, then escalate to a grown business. But once in a while, when you have a noisy customer try to tell you what to do…, don’t tell me that you did not feel the breakdown. You have been trying to do your best, for your own sake and others. But there are always people who do not appreciate you. But being the owner of a company, you probably going to put that feeling aside as quickly as you can. The customer will always complain, is their birth’s right. Not everyone has a gift to make other people feel appreciated.

We are like that customer. We complain all the times. There is always something wrong. It is never enough. We feel, hey we give you the money like you asked. Then in return, gives me something that I want. You do not care about the process. You do not want to know about the people behind the process. You do not appreciate the thing that you buy because simply, you just do not have the heart to understand the passion behind it.

Why is it hard for us to appreciate one another?

(So, in the end… do I talk about how much I hate to cook or about not being appreciated???? *confuse*)

Alone? No way...

After making that list on my previous post, I will share another thing with you about me…

I am actually a very coward person… Seriously…

A friend of mine once asked me why I loves watching horror movies… She thought I was being brave… Actually, now that I realize…really not that brave…

One example… My room and my Mom’s room connected with one door. One day, my parents went to another city for a week. There were only me and my aunt. She looks after me while my Mom was away. Oh, and let me give you information. I was thirty at that time…to be exact… Anyway, since nobody occupies the room, I decided to turn off the light. I went to sleep at usual but awake around 02.00 AM and unable to go back to sleep again. I woke up and turn on the computer. I started to browse the internet and replying email when I heard this soft voice from the room next door. At first I thought the voice came from my Aunt’s room which is located in front of my room. She used to wake up at 04.00 AM, praying and singing Christian songs. Then I started to think, wait…that if the time is 04.00 AM… but this only around 02.00 AM… And when I listened intently, the voice did not come from across my room, but from the other side of the room… I felt the goose bumps already… Wondering up to now, why I did not just go to the other room and turn on the light to see for myself… Who or what let out that creepy noise… Naturally I was scared immediately! Let my imagination running wild about a creepy ghost with damaged face and long hair smiling at me if I did go to that room…

So, like other coward person, I turn off my computer, open my room and knocked my Aunt’s room and asked her whether she has woken up earlier and sang something… She of course annoyed that I woke her up around 02.00 AM… I asked her whether she heard something, and when she said not I asked to sleep in my room! Hahahaha… yeah, yeah, I know…

With that embarrassing behavior, I could not imagine me…traveling alone, staying in the hotel alone… I think I will have to bring a lot of sleeping pills so I can go to sleep without having too much of imagination…

Super silly, eh?

list of activities...

Once in a while we; the singleton will find ourselves going out alone… Either to the mall, to the cinema, perhaps even travelling…

So, out of the blue I am making this list which activities that I like to do the most alone :

1. Looking for books…
Sure, sometimes me and my friends went to the bookstore together but then went on our separate ways… I mean, I need total concentration while looking at books …
2. Reading
Well, this is so obvious… What’s the point hang out with your friends if all of them including me bringing a book then instead of chatting we are all glued into our book the whole day
3. Going to hair dresser…
I like coloring my hair but I hate the time that need to be spent to get it done… hang out together to get our hair done or painting nails…just not my thing…
4. Hunting for good photos
Well, if any one my colleagues saw me with a camera…then they will turn me into their personal photographer and there is no way I could spend time alone to enjoy the beautiful sight in front of me and take a picture on…

The things that I prefer doing with a friend but often find me doing it alone:
1. Shopping
I am suck in choosing clothes and accessories… So going alone to buy clothes is really not my first option unless I have nobody to go with… And if I am really dying to get my hands on that fancy clothes and clearly do not need anyone’s opinion whether it is suitable for me or not…
2. Have a cup of coffee at the café…
I am not a coffee lover, but I like hang out at coffee shop …sip a cup of coffee and have a chit chat with my friend. Occasionally I just need to go out alone, bring my books and just sit there enjoying my drinks while read the book… Me time only
3. Dining out
Aside from having a cup of coffee together, dining out with friends is another wonderful moment…. What other things that can drive us happy besides having a good meal surrounded by our friends? Nevertheless, often I can’t avoid having lunch or dinner alone… Again, just enjoy me time with my meals and looking around at other people… or just simply read my book…

Can not imagine myself doing this alone :

Travelling…
Staying in a hotel’s room

ANy shares thoughts?

chit chat

After I read a blog of my online friend, I remember this conversation between me and my friends when we were still in high school...

We were talking about a friend of ours who just broke up with her boyfriend because she found out her no good bf of her was cheating with her own friend.

So the topic was...whose fault is that?

Several of us totally blame it all to the boyfriend. Why did he cheat on her anyway? If the relationship was suck why not just break up first then find someone else... (well, we were teens...okay? It wasn't that relationship going to end up in a marriage)... The other totally blame it on the other girl... Really has no shame dating her own friend's boyfriend...knowing that they were still in a steady relationship... The rest blame it on the first girl...thinking she must have said something that hurt her boyfriend or she was not giving enough care (what is he? a baby?) so obviously the boyfriend seek other for comfort...

Thinking all of those conversation...., I now think...perhaps it was everybody's fault...or perhaps it was not...

I mean, seriously? We were teens... We could see only nothing but the face of someone that we love... Then, naturally being not mature enough...we were still looking around for someone that attractive...

In the adult world..., we can not believe everything that we have seen... We have no idea why the guy or the girl having double relationship at once... Why the girl keep on going with sour relationship, why the guy keep the girl but also have another fling with other woman (or perhaps man?)...

So, to find whose fault is that...probably just a waste of time... And would not solve anything anyway... Only those people involved in that unhealthy relationship know what is really going on and what action to take... :)

Ehm, what was I wanna talk about exactly????

Words...

Why do you like to watch tv movies a lot? One of my friend asked me…

I said because some episodes reflect our own episode in the real world…

For example, one of the episode of MENTALIST is about a reunion. Patrick Jane, the character in the tv serie, said something like this… (can’t remember the exact words) people think that after all these years they have changed. But actually they have not changed at all. Once a bully, will always be a bully.

So, one of the attendee looked so gloomy talked with Patrick Jane. He said he regretted that he never fight back all those people who bullied him in the past. Patrick said he still could do it, right now… The person look taken aback and said it would not make any difference.
“Well, but at least you tried…,” he answered back.

Ages go, my friend and I like this same guy. When he finally chosen my friend, my friend comforted me with the most strangest words: “Well, may be your taste is too high…”

Huh? What is that suppose to mean?

But that words leave a mark in me and I always think I am not good enough…

Anyway, what I want to say is:

When someone said something that offends you, maybe you should just ask what is that suppose to mean and say that words does make you uncomfortable. At least you have tried to inform them.

If you by any chance were too stunned and did not retort back, then maybe you should not keep those hurting words in your heart for a long time. The more you keep it, the more you feel the hurt. Just like when you cut yourself and you did not give any medication on the wound for days… And this wounded has been with you for years! Imagine what it could do to you…

Soooo, again… let us all live a happy life… and try to forget the words that could cut like a knife… Don’t let the wound be unattended for long… Remember, we only live once… Rejoice it…

living the life

When we are young we are so eager to be a grown up soon. We feel that being young; we are not allowed to a lot of things. We can not do this and that because we are underage. We want to be like our Mom (without realizing it)…and wish to try on her make up equipments….so we look mature, older like her, looking graceful, but of course we could not… We could not get our driver license because we are still underage. We could not have an ID Card and satisfied enough with Student card. Heck, in my younger days we could not see just any movie if we are still children. We could not wait to be older soon. Me? I remember I would want to grow older because I was jealous looking at other children go to school. I suppose being the only child stuck at home; I really want out to have the chance hang out with other kid…

Then, when we are finally OLDER…we try anything to make us look way younger than we are now. We takes on any medications, or do sports, or learn how to use make up that can help us look 20 something ^___^, we use night cream, day cream, noon cream, whatever cream to be plastered on our face…


Perhaps when we can not do almost about everything, we are dying to have the authority to be able do anything that we like. But when we finally have the authority and knowledge, we feel that is such a burden we wish we could have that moment when we can not do anything, or know far too much… Not to mention the responsibility for every decision that we make, as an adult.

But, that’s life ^___^ Would you want to be young forever? Well, okay… wrong question… Probably some would say yes… Again, it’s the circle of life… If you are still young, then do not rush yourself into the adult world, not unless you have to due some circumstances. And when you finally reach there, do not bother to look back and thinking…oh I wish I could go back… It will not give you anything… Just live the life… and enjoy it to the fullest.

Traditional puppets of ethnic group in Jakarta - Southeast Asia

Traditional puppets of ethnic group in Jakarta - Southeast Asia

Tall buildings - Jakarta - Southeast Asia

Tall buildings - Jakarta - Southeast Asia

Waiting for the bus - Southeast Asia

Waiting for the bus - Southeast Asia

Little lake at Fantasy World Jakarta - Southeast Asia

Little lake at Fantasy World Jakarta - Southeast Asia

Empty street at night - Southeast Asia

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Empty street at night - Southeast Asia