Grumpy the series : Manners, please...

People always says that youngster especially nowadays teens does not have manner. At first glance, I would have to say that I agree…

I mean look at them at public places. They often walk side by side with their so-called gank… They do not care that there are other people walking by from opposite direction. We are the one who have to step aside, or just let them bumping into us… Naturally they do not care or even dare make faces as if we are the one who stood in their way.

Another time, a friend of mine with her hubby saw a very beautiful girl probably around 15 years old screaming called names to the waiter. The reason for the inappropriate behavior was the restaurant totally booked and she has to wait to be seated. Her words coming from that beautiful face…totally contradicted everything. And she seems enjoyed the fact that all visitors in the restaurant staring at her viciously.

But all these grudges were vanished when I saw with my own eyes how we the older people can turn the angelic little creature to devil sent from hell.

A bunch of kids and their parents were in the mall together eating snacks. After finished with the snack, the mother (with all those jewelries and a Blackberry) just threw the empty wrapper on the floor. When one of her kid tried to pick up the empty wrapper she yanked the little boy and snapped. The older kid asked her mother why she was so angry as her brother just want to put the wrapper into the trash bin provided by the mall. You know what that lady said?
“OH WHO CARES!! They have people who will clean this up… Garbage is not our problem… Now, we have to wash your brother’s hands!”

(Oh boooy… they surely going to be the number one trash provider later in the far away future…)


Or another time… I was queuing to buy a burger and standing with other people separated by chains to create several lines. My position was at the right counter from three counters available for the customers. Suddenly from the corner of my right eye, I noticed a young mother with her little daughter. Since I was wearing my IPOD she must have thought that I would not be able to listen. She has no idea I put the volume at the lowest level. She told her daughter to sneak in front of me! When her daughter answered her about other people already queuing first, her mother gave her a not-so-good advice,” So? You want to have your meal sooner, right? Go on… I am sure nobody would mind if you just sneak in front of them… Then I will follow you from behind…”
Still pretending not to hear, but I made sure that girl and her disgraceful mother would never ever sneak in front of me.


This posting is not going to blame that all parents are totally responsible for their children’s attitude. The above examples were just from events that made me realize children or teens are not just born obnoxious or without manner. But they must be learning that horrendous behavior from someone that close to them. Someone or more than one person who justify that kind of behavior. And being young they just swallow everything and think is okay with that.

Really sad for me to see people so beautiful in their physical appearance but have no brain about manner and such.

Or maybe I am just being grumpy again?

Teach me how to bike, pleaseee

My long wishes up to now is to be able to ride bicycle.

Okay, you may laugh… But seriously I never know how to ride a bicycle.

When I was a lot younger, I begged my Mother so I can learn how to bike. She did not give me the permission. She said, she did not want me to get the hang of it…, then riding out without her knowing…and then suddenly I already got hit by a car. I suppose being a parent they can only have bad imagination instead of good ones… But anyway, I hardly argued with her…and so…I put aside the desire in the bottom of my heart.

And why suddenly the desire come out floating in the air again? Well, a few years ago I refused to go on a trip because it required me to bike. How am I supposed to do that if I have no idea how to keep my balance on the bicycle? I never had any practice… Telling me to bike will result just the same by asking me to dance… It will be a complete catastrophe. Well, at least from my side… I can imagine already I will be bumping tree or sidewalks, then fall and hurt my knee… Over and over again… Sighed

I also notice that many fun activities both inside the city and on sightseeing spot are include biking on their list. Like for example, early this year my friends and I went to the museum Fatahillah. There are so many cute old bicycles rented for all visitors and I was unable to enjoy it…as simply I do not know how to bike. SOB.
Just this morning a tourism program on TV also show to the audience about Gilli Trawangan. Since cars and motors are not allowed by the local authorities. Therefore it was shown on tv that tourists exploring the island either on foot or biking (again!)… Now you can understand why I am so agitated to learn how to bike…

Then again, how in the heck I am going to learn? Do I have to buy a four wheels bicycle before I manage to handle my balance? And if I do buy it…should I learn it in the early of the morning when people still sleeping so nobody look at me with bewilderment?

Anybody want to accompany me to learn how to bike? ^___^ 

Secret - the complicated story

Lady 1 : Pssst, come closer to me… I wanna tell you a secret…

Lady 2 : Oh, what is it? I love hearing secret…

Lady 1 : But you have to promise me that you will not tell a soul… not even to Lady 3

Lady 2 : What? Why’s that? She is our friend too…

Lady 1 : I am just not to comfortable sharing this with more than one person… I chose you…

Lady 2 : Okay, I am honored… But…, I do not know how can I lie to her…

Lady 1 : Why can’t you?

Lady 2 : You know I am a terrible liar… And what if she asked me about it?

Lady 1 : I haven’t tell you the secret yet… How in the heck Lady 3 know what we are going to talk about… Anyway, do you want me to tell you the secret or not?

Lady 2 : Snappy… Fine… Shoot then…

Lady 1 : You know the guy in our gym…who just divorce his wife because another woman…?

Lady 2 : Don’t tell me you are the other woman?

Lady 1 : Wait… you already know about this?

Lady 2 : What? Errr…no… I was just kidding… Oh my God, the rumor is true then?

Lady 1 : So people have been talking about my back? Including you with Lady 3?

Lady 2 : Correction, people have been asking about you to us… We said nothing… Told them there is no way you are the other woman… and even is true, is your own business…

Lady 1 : Really? How sweet of you….

Lady 2 : So, I can tell this shocking news to Lady 3, right?

Lady 1: Absolutely not… If you tell, I will not tell you the details about our relationship…


So, the Lady 2 keep her promise and just stay silent. Naturally she became surprise when Lady 3 asked her when Lady 1 planning to get married with that divorcee. But, keeping her promise, she started to act as if she just heard about it for the first time.

Lady 3 : Are you sure you just heard the news from me?

Lady 2 : Errr…yes… Why?

Lady 3 : Because Lady 1 told me that she has shared the news with you first handed  yesterday…

Lady 2 : I’ll kill her…! She told me not to tell anyone including you!

Lady 3 : Did she? Maybe I’ll strangle her…

Lady 2 : Get a line… 



Maybe it will be best for Lady 2 just share the news anyway with Lady 3 despite her promise? ^________^


And we still able to deny that there is no way in the world we are being such a complicated creature

Kindness overcome the need to hurt

If you watch a war movie, we often heard this sentence from the actors in the movie… “Let us hurt them first before they hurt us…”

In a war situation, that is probably a good tactic… If we got hurt first by our enemy, then perhaps our soldiers would loose the spirit to fight…thinking that this is a no-winning-war and they are going to die anyway… Not to mention those who would be killed during the attack… If we hurt the enemy first…, then we will have the advantage to give spirit for us and those soldiers in the battle… We will be able to win this war… They will never know what hit them… They will surrender soon…. Etc, etc…

You know what…in real life…sometimes…due to stressful of backstabbing colleagues and killer boss…we decided that we have to hurt other people first. Rather than getting hurt first by others…then we should strike first… Let them know that we are not weak and will not going to be crushed by them… We will not hesitate to show that we can hurt them and make sure they know about it…

But does it ever cross our mind something like let us be kind to other people first rather than people give that to us first… Usually, we have this kind of standard…I will be kind to other people if they are be kind to me first. We are not going to be the initiator in giving kindness to other people. Because for the same reason: we do not want to get hurt in the first place… What if this person has a bad intention to us? We would not survive the wound if they hurt us after all the kindness that we have given to them.

Well, nobody wants to get hurt… Even people whose daily activity is to hurt other people also do not want to get hurt. Especially by the people that have received our kindness. But did we expect something in return from our kindness? If not, then theoretically we should not get hurt easily if they pay back the kindness with evil things. Easy to said than done. I know that only too well. I saw that in my parents. They always try to be helpful to others but get only few positive responses. Only a few of people return their kindness. But did it stop them to keep being kind and helpful to other? Amazingly, is not.

“Those ungrateful people (hehehehe…it turn out they are mad after all) may not repay the kindness back to me… But there will be a stranger that will be kind to my kid… And for me, knowing that is enough…,” say my Dad.

Can we do that? Being kind first to others? Nothing wrong to try, right? 

Sentimental value

Do you have old things that other people look at them as garbage but for you is a valuable treasure?
Not because the thing is worth million bucks or something…but the value behind that garbage thing make you (including me) unable to let the thing go…

I have this doll, a Teddy Bear… It is so old, if I hold it too tight I think the doll will loose it’s hand immediately. But I love that doll. My Dad gave it to me when I was a kid, lying in the hospital. Feeling so sad because I stayed in the room where my parents were not allowed to be with me. So, if the visiting hour has passed I have to pass the night all by myself. My Dad gave me the doll so I would always remember that my parents were around.
That is why I decided to keep that doll up ‘till now. I was wondering where I can fix my Teddy …but have not found the place yet….

Some of us are a bit sentimental. And therefore we like to keep old stuffs just for the sentimental reason. Like me and my Teddy bear. Through things often we were reminded that people gave us that thing to express their love, or affection. Sometimes we need old clothes from people that has passed away to be reminded the good times that we have spent with them. Or perhaps bad moments, but who would want to remember bad times anyway?

Your parents maybe give you that old camera for your graduation. Every time you use it, you will remember them… Or your husband gave you that ugly necklace. It’s not a diamond or gold, but you keep it anyway. Because he gave it to you while both of you were still dating. Your son gave it a hideous tie. You wear it anyway and keep it, because that was a gift on Fathers Day. Your friend gave you a friendship ring when you both finished high school. So you can be friends forever…

Again, is not the nominal value of the stuff…but the memory that we try to hold on.

What can I say, I am that sentimental person ( or perhaps I just too lazy to clean up my drawer…)


p.s. this post is dedicated to my (once) handphone… A white sliding Nokia…able to produce beautiful picture like the one that I attached here… The only reason I have to let my dearest handphone go due to the screen problem. It often went dead for several hours…and I became unable to check any text message. The memorable moment was the handphone did not have any problem when I was about to sell it. The girl on the store keep on checking it for almost an hour. They want to make sure the handphone still in good condition before they agree to buy it. I think is incredible that it did not went off like it used to be…  Still sad to think about it.... (yeah, I know…ridiculous…) 

Written or spoken?


I am not really a person who can handle things directly. Like for example, if I want to complain about maybe a certain service that did not meet with my requirement I would send letter to the customer service. For me, it saves a lot of my time from the need to listen to the stupid singing from the phone while we were put on hold. Of course, if my letter did not get any response…is another story… But anyway, I always avoid any open confrontation.

Why? Maybe I am just another coward person? That possibility has come to my mind, but I also know that I am a slow thinker. My brain processing everything so slowly and finally not only I am unable to think something smart to say I end up with uncontrollable emotion. Which of course, end up into pointless arguments and solve nothing.

With letter, I can have time to think my words carefully… I can re-read every letters again and again before finally make my reply. And it helps me to avoid saying anything stupid and pointless for the sake of arguments.

Well, not just for avoid arguments… Sometimes, believe it or not… I can just go blank in the middle of conversation. Like…oh, dear… What should we talk about… Especially when I like to talk about certain topic but my friend does not like it… Or my friend talk about things that she like…however I have no idea what is it about… Through letters, amazingly I always manage to create something to talk about…

Naturally, not everything in life can be settled through letters. Letters takes time before arrive to the owner… Often the explanation contained in the letter has no longer useful for the recipient. Several things do need straight and open conversation. If it will lead to some kind disagreement or awkward situation, so be it…  

Have faith for kindness



A few years ago I was staying in this hotel during my vacation in Bali. On our first morning I hurriedly went to the hotel’s restaurant to enjoy my breakfast. There were many kind of meals that morning. I took a plate and start wondering around. Thinking of which one I should have this morning. Then I heard a voice beside me, “You should try the chicken porridge… It is really good…”

I looked around to find a middle age foreign woman standing beside me. I noticed that she took fried rice for her breakfast and yet she told me that the porridge is good… So, I asked…,” Really? Then why you do you have something else for breakfast?”

She smiled and whispered to me, “This is my fifth days… They always serve the same menu everyday… I got bored…”

This woman just trying to be nice and gave me suggestion. And yet, I questioned her suggestion and get suspicious.

I suppose, being conned a few times, or stabbed in the back by my own so-called friends made me what I am right now… Easily get suspicious when someone being nice. Even for the simple ordinary things.  All I can think of, why did she say things like that to me? I did not ask her to do that… What did she want by give me that information?

Sometimes I guess, we need to know how to detect the sincere gesture of the deed that has been given to us… I mean, just because we have been trough something bad in our life we then will consider that all people will bring bad luck… If people being nice to us, it does not mean that they want something back or have hidden agenda… They probably just want to do something nice… like we as well from time to time…

Be cautious we must…but do not let ourselves drowned with our suspicion. Not all people are just being nice…but not all of them want to stab you from the back… Just have a little bit of faith. 

The fallen idol

We sometimes think too highly on people that we like or idolize…

We like this actor because he is playing as someone who is nice and decent in one of his movie. We think he is as nice as his role play in the movie in the real life. We worship him and yes in the beginning he does seem like a nice person. He involve in many charities, helpful and caring with the kids, never say anything bad to the press…until finally someday he slip. It turn out he use his charm and popularity to do scam to lots of people.

Many people who adores him of course becoming very disappointed. They have built this image that he is a very good person, a person that they can look up to. All his doing is nothing but good and really someone that we can rely on for the name of morality. And when their imagination crush tumbling down…those people becoming angry. This person has destroy their fantasy.

Wondering why we did not see that coming? I mean the person that we idolize is the same person as we are. Yes, sure they have other talents that we obviously do not have. But that does not we should over rated them. That does not mean they will not makes mistakes or have bad habits. That does not mean they are pure and have no sin in their life.

If we see them just like any other human being, then perhaps we will not be so devastated to find out that they are not as good as we think. Unless they wipe another human being in cold blood, I will say…they just simply human. Like the rest of us…

Live with it… and get on with your life….

Life is an adventure

Life Is an Adventure: A Guide to the Path of Joy

We often amazed to see how children not even in their fifth years, already managed to operate almost electronic devices at our home. Their eyes sparkle and sort of light up like those lights on Christmas tree. They are eager to explore the new device, by their own. And yes, they are able to master it within minutes compare with most of us, the adult.

However, try to dig your memory a bit. Weren’t you like that when you were much, much younger? Your dad brought home a new video player (yes, children… Ages ago, we use this thing called video and video player) and warned you not to play with it… But guess what? You could not hold yourself and decide to take a look at it… Try to remember what you dad did last night to use this thing… And it turn out, within minutes you do not need your parents anymore to watch the video…

In the adult world, you are now a new employee of this company… Though your senior has given warning about things that you should not, can not, better not do … you do it anyway… You are new to the job, perhaps you forget about their warning… perhaps you just want to know what will happen if you do it anyway…

Being young in our childhood, being a new employee in our adulthood…

Both of the situations are where we have no idea about the consequences of things that we would have done…

Being adult, we know how much is going to cost us if we do not use the electronic device properly. The device probably going to be damaged and can not be used any longer. It means we have to buy a new one (If we desperately need the device) or pay reparation fee to fix it. Being kid, we have no idea about it. All we think is…how to operate this thing by ourselves? We considered that as an adventure…exploring things that we have no knowledge about.

Being a senior in the office make us truly aware of the price to pay if we do the job without proper procedure. Obviously, there will be lost that the company must bear. Then certainly the client is going to be pissed and not satisfied. They sent complain. The complain reached our boss who will give us bad appraisal for our performance. As the final result, we will not going to get a raise.
But being a junior? We probably going to make a face and asked our senior,”So…what is going to happen if we screw up unintentionally?” (make me want to strangle them every time the newbie asked me that question)… The great thing is we as a new person will probably able to find out new strategy to get the job done… the worst thing can happen, we screw up and take the consequences.

We always says that we prefer to know what lay ahead of us… So, we will know what sort of action that should be taken… It turn out, we do thing at the very best when we have no idea what is going to happen in the future… Yeah, sure … is frightening… I am include to the kind of person who prefer to know what is going to happen… Then again, what is the fun in that? We will be scare all the time, and can’t explore the unknown…

Being wise is a must…however let us try not being over cautious on every thing that we do… I know for myself that this is not easy… Hopefully I will find a way to see things from a child’s eyes or new recruit’s point of view…

(psst… I will let you all know when I succeed it) 

Lie you may, but not so much

I am the type of person who often avoid arguments and disagreement by simply produce a lie whenever necessary.

Like for example, when I was younger my Mom always the one who choose what kind of clothes I should wear. I have no problem with that until I entered Senior High School. I dislike her preference for me. But every time I opened my mouth to let out my disagreement she became upset. And therefore to avoid any argument between us, I always agree to all the clothes that she bought for me. Since I did not like them, I hardly wear it unless I have to go out with her. I have never really into fashion, but wearing something that I do not like always makes me uncomfortable. Of course, she finally noticed that I hardly wear the clothes… And that made her even more upset.

From that I learned, that for some cases…it would be better if we just be honest. If we have disagreement on something that we think is necessary for us to be spoken out loud then we should do it. Of course, what we have to think is how to express that disagreement in order to achieve something that both parties would approve. If only I kept on insist that I dislike the dress my Mom bought for me, she probably would only be a little upset. Okay, it would be a catastrophe. But, if she bought the dress anyway thinking that I like it too and then finding out I never wear it, imagine how she feel about it? Not only she wasted money on thing that would be useless but also that I lied about it. Being my Mom she probably going to let that pass. But being a friend or an acquaintance, I am not so sure… We will not like that kind of situation and eventually worst thing might happen…

So, yeah…once in a while…lie you may… But try not to do that too often…
(and this advice come from a person who prefer lying in the name of comfort) 

Bag, bag and bag


I always love big bags, ever since I was younger. Of course, in my younger days I used backpack to carry my things, which most of them are books.

Then when I was working, it was a bit of a hassle to bring big bags to the office. One of the reasons, the big bag occupied most available space in my drawer in the office. As the result, I was unable to put my files inside the drawer. Since all files are confidential, naturally the big bag must be out of the way. Plus, it was not easy to bring bag while I was trying to be inside the crowded bus. The big bag often got stuck in the middle of other passangers.

There were times; I prefer to bring these sling bags... 
Because I could put quite a lot of stuffs and not so much hassle for me to bring.  I could put my little notepad, small umbrella (though is totally useless whenever heavy rain pouring down on earth), my cellphone, comb, small mirror, powder and lipstick. Yeah, yeah…. I know is impossible. But I bring that tiny little miny bitsy powder container…so, yes they are all fit.


Nowadays, I am back with the big bag. And this one is my favorite right now. I can put almost about everything. Not only my small umbrella (yes, the umbrella is still the small one… What do you think?), my (bigger) notepad, my BB including the charger (what can I say? I am very addicted to it), my Ipod, and of course digital camera (pocket’s size, mind you). Women’s best friends such as lipstick, powder, eye shadow, tissue (dry and wet, which one do you want?) are also included… 
And to make them organized, I put them all in my organizer bag. How cute is that? 

So, which one are you?


Emotionally nuts


I once asked my friend, why the story and dialogues on Indonesian soap operas are all err… annoying?

She then told me that someone has told her the necessity in the dialogue. The keyword is : EMOTION.
Audience does not to see local soap operas have story lines like American TV series such as House, CSI, Brothers and Sisters, Desperate Housewives… No need logical stories, or witty dialogues… Just play with the emotion and you will get number one soap opera around the nation.

Well, I can not argue with that… Come to think of it… The so-called-keyword : Emotion does work to the audience…

Like for example:

The antagonist character is screaming on top of her lungs to the pain-searcher-protagonist character who keep on crying.
Emotion does being capture by the audience. Only there are differences.
The loving fans naturally feel moved by the hopeless situation by the useless heroine and feel anger to the antagonist.
Me? I feel headache by both of the characters and I can already imagine my hand grabbing them and break their neck just to stop the screaming and the crying. Emotion does pouring out of me…only in a different way.


The antagonist character is on the run from the police with her boyfriend. She got shot by the police on her leg. But still manage to run to the hospital. Then insist the doctor to perform surgery to move the bullet. Miraculously, the surgery went well and she asked her boyfriend to take her home immediately. Eventually the police already surrounded the house and she gallantly denied everything. When the police said that they have shot her, she show her leg and OF COURSE there was no wound whatsoever. To add more proofs that she was not the one who got shot, she even DANCE in front of the law enforcement.

Emotion?
Well, what else do you expect?
The loving fans of course getting annoyed… Saying wow good things always happen to bad people… How can she escape just like that… In short, they can not wait to see bad thing happen to the bad person.
Me? Oh well… what can I say… I am totally impressed that by the second the surgery finished, the person already able to run and even dancing!


Anyway, I can go on and on with the list but I will stop here.

I do however want to give my salute to everyone that has created all those stories as they really do know how to capture the audience’s emotion. They really know how to make best production ever.

SALUTE TO THE EMOTION!

Emotion scammers


On my previous posting, I talked about scammers. My online friend reminded me that I miss one type of scams. That is romance scam.

We often go online on a chat room and talked with anyone there. After a while, we only talked to one person… After a while, we become close… We talked more about private life and get more intimate… And without we realize, we becoming emotionally dependent to this person that we have never met before.

I remembered I try to be open mind and starting to go to the chat room. Finally get a new friend who called himself : Mark Smith. Just another ordinary name, right? So, I tried to ask him, does he has any middle name or third name…. He answered simply, that his name only Mark Smith. I started to get suspected…but not until my friend told me a story. She said, there was this show on Oprah about women who got scammed by people who pretend to be someone else. They use pictures from a-not-well-known-model to trick us. I mean, who does not like to have cute handsome pretty face friends?

These people can be a woman disguise themselves as a man, or a man pretending as a woman… Either way, they play with our emotion and listen to all our stories… Wait until the right moment then they strike with plea for help (or should I say : money)… We will give anything that they asked because we have put our trust to them.

I was told that these people keep very good files on every victims. Like for example, if I am one of their victim, they will keep records on every mails and details of my life that I have poured out. Every tiny little details, so whenever I am online these people will be ready with the story of my life. Isn’t that amazing? Amazingly disturbing, yet… still very thoroughly.

Since they used photos that are not belongs to them, they will not update their profile photo frequently. Well, you know… we like to add photos of our friends and families. These people will not. And even if they do, if will only be a one time thing.

I can’t give advice how to avoid these people… I mean, no matter how careful we are…someday we are (hopefully NOT) going to fall… But, thank God my friend and I do not have enough money to be scattered around to strangers. And therefore, when one of our acquaintances asked for money we just laugh out loud and never replied their mails again. We almost fall into their tricks. They seems nice, and chatty but they really screwed up when asking for money to me and my friends. Meaning, they obviously did not really care about what we told them. If they do care, they will know that we are not rich enough to spend money on strangers.

Hopefully, all of us can’t avoid of being lured to their scam… As these people playing with our emotion and know that though we may seems tough… but we still need someone that we can trust and talk to. Just be aware and be safe.

Writing process



My writing history began at the very young age. Well, not writing about my daily life on a diary. Instead I started writing letters to my dad who due to his work has to leave us for months. My Mom told me to write anything that crossed my mind…and so I did…

Then in the elementary school, I started to have a diary because I want to write about my journey to my Dad’s hometown… And of course, I started to write about the daily activities in school, about my family and friends…. I even have a joint diary with my close friend in Senior High School! Mostly about silly sharing stories about guys that we like and teachers that we despise…

After I worked, I never write again because…well…simply I have no time at all. The funny thing I bought new diary every New Year, but I only use several pages before finally put the diary on my shelf again. Not until I saw this movie: Bridget Jones’s diary I was beginning to think…hey, why I am not trying to write my story? Who knows maybe I would be the next Bridget Jones… ? Kidding… Anyway, I told my friend that I want to be a writer. She then suggested me to write an online diary. To practice, and to see if people like the way I write my stories. So, here I am ^___^

And I am still here after 7 years… Hopefully I can move to something better… than just do for a hobby and spend another 7 years… OOpppss…
(For someone who has been written stuffs almost for a life time, I still find it hard to express ideas on my head to words … )

Scammers

Nobody denied that nowadays is so hard looking for a decent job and earn money. Often driven by the need to get some money, people easily lured to money scams. The scam can be anything, like for examples:

In Indonesia, almost all of us know this term called : Arisan. Arisan is sort of social gathering between close neighbors whose members contribute money to and take turns at winning an aggregate sum of money. Someone among the member will be the custody of the money. This someone often is the one who ran to God knows where along with the money. I guess, holding a large amount of money can make someone forget about other people. Or already has a bad intention in the beginning when propose to others to start “Arisan”

I also heard that many people still trust that with magic a certain amount of money will doubled in over night… Without you have to do anything… Any people with enough brain will know this is impossible. Even if you plan to rob a bank, you will have to do the work (though illegal) by going to the bank and well…rob the money. Eventually, people who make this scam ran away with the money. And the worst part, they even killed the people who got lured with their scam.

Another common scam is the one through text message. This scammer will pretend that they are from telecommunication provider. They will texting us to inform we have won a prize from them after being such a loyal customer. However, to pay for the tax on the prize, we have to transfer a certain amount of money. After we transfer the money, we will never ever going to see the so-called prize. And if you try to contact the number it will not go through. Plus, when we finally call the real telecom provider, they will confirm that there is no such a prize.

The last one is email from people that we have no idea whereabouts. I copied a scam letter that I received few days ago :



From XXXX
My Dear

It is my pleasure to contact you for a business venture which I intend to establish
in your country. Though I have not met with you befaore but I believe one has to
risk confidence to succeed sometimes in life. There is this huge amount of Seven
million Five Hundred Thousands U.S dollars ($7.500.000.00) which my late Father kept
with a Fiduciary Fund Holder in YYYY country before his death

Now, I have decided to invest this money in your country or anywhere safe enough
outside Africa for security and political reasons. I want you to assist me claim and
retrieve this fund from the Fiduciary Fund Holders and transfer it into your
personal account in your country for investment purposes on these areas:

1). Telecommunication
2). the transport industry
3). Five star hotel

If you can be of any assistance to me I will be pleased to offer to you 20% of the
total fund.
I await your soonest response.
Respectfully yours,
Ms. XXXX
From XXXX


If you receive letter from people that you don’t know, especially contain sort of kind like the above letter…then you just need to ignore it. Nobody will be crazy enough to do business by themselves with someone that they do not know in some far away country. Most people will have their lawyers or any financial institutions to do their business.

So, just be aware with scammers around us. They can come from strangers or even people that we know for a long time. We need the money for sure. But that is not an excuse to just go blindly join any business offers without know the details for certain.

Older women with younger guys

Nowadays there are so many movies about women in their early forty or late thirty having a one night stand or steady relationship with (so much) younger men.

I will discuss with the new one: Cougar Town. The story is about a single mother with a lousy ex husband. Working as a real estate agent, Jules Cobb raising her teen son and suddenly feel that she wants to feel and experience all the things that has lost during the time she married and raise her son. She hang out with her younger colleague and dating younger men. Though from time to time, she has to admit that she can no longer do whatever 20 something women can do.
What I like the thing she said in the first episode,” I want to date men at my age, but they date younger women…”

The other new serie is Accidentally on Purpose. Is a story is about a movie critic : Billie who just broke up with her boyfriend (also her boss). Her boyfriend once married and therefore not ready for another serious relationship. During her night out with friend and younger sister, Billie met Zack and end up having a one-night stand. Which continue with another one and later she found out she is pregnant.
Though Zack agreed to be with Billie until the baby born (and because he has no other place to stay), Billie sometimes think that she has another kid at her home.

Another one is The Proposal. Is about feisty editor Margaret Tate (Sandra Bullock) who loves tormenting her assistant (or more like a male maid) : Andrew Paxton (Ryan Reynolds). Then when she was about to be kicked out from USA due to expired visa, she forced Andrew to be her (fake) husband. Since the punishment is severe if the immigration find out they are only faking the marriage, Andrew insist rewards and made Margareth “propose” him on her knee in public. The rest…well, you know what happen…


This one is a Korean drama about thirty something woman who great in culinary meet a cold broken hearted younger guy: My Name is Kim Sam Soon . To avoid marriage arrangement by his mother, Hyun Jin-heon and Kim Sam-soon make an agreement to pretend that they are lovers. It is hard for the audience to sympathize with Kim Sam-soon. First, well her name is a bit weird for a woman. Second, her voice does compete with a 100 years old grandma. And third, she is sort of overweight. Compare with Jin-heon previous girl friend, Sam-soon is out of her league. But, we know what happen in the end…
http://wiki.d-addicts.com/My_Lovely_Sam-Soon

From all of the above, this one is the most touching story: Majo no Jouken. Is about a teacher : Michi who is still unsure what she really wants in her life other than fulfill what society and family wants. She has new student: Hikaru who live with his rich controlling cold mother. They both eventually fall in love and run away together. Michi face the hardest blow from people around her. She is after all much older, a teacher, who supposedly has some kind of standard of morality while Hikaru is still under age. If the above stories were fun to watch, this one was so heart breaking. To see two people united by circumstance and how they fight to stay together despite all the obstacles.

Used Things

How far you would use used stuffs? I am not the kind of person who like using used stuffs, though I do collect something that has been used… in my younger days… Then again, here are several used stuffs around our daily life that I once have or bought or not ever want to have…

1. Book
Once upon a time, I suggested to my Mom to just buy me used studying books in order to save some money… You know what she said to me? She said that book might carry a contagious virus or something… (and people said I was reading too much espionage books) In simple explanation, she worried that the books previously owned by someone who has contagious illness and the books covered with bacteria from the sick person. Silly lie or not, it was effective for her to have me stay away from buying used books. I think there was only one time I bought several used books and that because I only need them for traveling with my parents. The book would be disposed once the holiday over. So, no worries about the contagious bugs… Kidding…

Anyway, the only used books that I would not mind having were those from swapping with my friends… Besides, is not like I buy books daily… And I always love the smell from the new books…

2. Stamps
I love collecting things…and used stamps were among them. That was one of the reasons why I also into corresponding. Collecting stamps to me was sort of like having miniature paintings. LOL.
Unfortunately I stop collecting them ever since I got a job. Too much time consuming and I simply lost interest in them. But, I still have them for old time sake.

3. Clothing
Same thing with books, I do not like wearing or buying things that have been used by other people…
Once I went to bazaar that sold cheap but nice clothing… I was interested but later I heard that those clothes were actually DONATION from other countries to people who in need. The trick to spot it is, according to my friends that those clothes only available in one size. And often have missing irreplaceable buttons.
That was the reason I dislike buying used clothes. If those supposed to be a donation then it was sort of insulting if I have to BUY them???

On the other hand, I would not mind swapping clothes with my friends… ;)

4. Shoes
There is no way in this world that I would ever gonna buy a pair or more of used shoes. Not even if those shoes once worn by a famous person.

Anyway, I have never tried to buy other used things like table, chair, cabinet… Not that because I do not want to… but I never found anything interesting. Who knows? Maybe in the future I would specifically hunting for those antiques to fill the space in my own-future-house…

Hard diet

Yesterday my niece was admitted to the hospital because she passed out suddenly. When she was brought to the hospital, doctor told her family that she was heavy dehydrated. It turn out my niece, who obsessed to keep her slim body has been on an overdosed diet. She only eat once a day in order to avoid getting fat. And to make the matter worse, she hardly let any fluid into her body. So, she has stomach problem and of course the dehydrated matter. She refused to stay the night and therefore the doctor urge her to eat first before go home.

Naturally, everybody who accompanied her to the hospital start t get angry because almost everybody know her (incorrect and danger) diet program. Not only she endangered herself but she made everybody panic and afraid of what was going to happen to her.

Can’t say I blame my niece for wanting so much to be super slim. Teens like her easily brainwashed by commercial on tv and magazines. That being pretty is having slim body, long smooth hair and has glowing white skin. She has them all, to be the truth. She is about 175 cm and she is just entered Senior High School! She has nothing to be worried about and yet…thanks to all the misleading commercials that surrounding us everyday, she almost kill herself.

Can we blame her parents? Well, parents can give advice, guidance, yelling, warning… but they can be around 24/7. Some people (or some teens) have to learn in the hardest way before realizing the truth from their parent’s advice. As parents, I suppose my cousin and her hubby can only hope that their children will be able to learn from the lessons especially the hard ones.

As for my niece, hopefully she won’t try anymore stupid diet just to keep being slim… and instead sending her to the hospital…

THE A-TEAM



Today, I was on my way to go see the movie with my friend. Then two teenagers passing me by and I heard one of them asked this,” What kind of movie is THE A-TEAM?”
Then her friend told her,” Is a remake from this old tv series… You know, like Mc Gyver?”

I almost laugh in vain after hear the term “OLD” for THE A-TEAM. But then again, like my friend said THE A-TEAM is much older than Mc Gyver. So, it can be called classic movie already;) I remember watching the tv series every time at night after studying. I was still in elementary school and thanks God that movie was not on air after 10 PM. Otherwise, I would not be able to see it. I love the comedy and action and the suspense… Help me to ease my nerve during examination, just to remember the funny scenes.
And now I am on my way to see this “OLD” movie with my friend, for remembering the old time.

The basic story from The A-Team is IMHO, more or less the same with Robin Hood. Outlaws for crime they did not commit, and during their hiding from the government they provide helps for people in need.


Liam Neeson as Colonel Hannibal, is way too serious compare with George Peppard. While Sharlto Copley as Captain Murdock is not as crazy as Dwight Schultz. B.A by Quinton “Rampage” Jackson not as mean as Mr T . Bradley Cooper is as cute as Dirk Benedict being Lieutenant Faceman.
The story? Oh the usual formula. Actions, treachery, comedy, romance, blowing up ship, but not so much blood all over the place. The information about why B.A. so afraid of flying especially if Murdock is the one who flying the plane. Well, it will need an insane man to be able to fly any kind of plane to escape from bad guys and do all crazy maneuvers. Since, they are still on the run from the military when the movie ended; I assume there will be a sequel in the future.

Ah, the good old days …. And finally to hear that sentences,” I love it when a plans come together”

Favorite spot



If you go to the café to have a cup of coffee or hot chocolate, or whatever…you will probably have a favorite spot to sit, right? I mean, you did not go to that café once a year… You go there almost every week. Either with your friends or just go there alone.

So, here are the things that becoming my consideration to make that spot my favorite nest:

1. Sofa
I love sitting on the soft couch or sofa… My favorite sofas located at Starbuck Plaza Senayan. Whenever my friend and I went there, we anxiously look for that sofa. Hoping in vain that nobody sit there… There are two sofas facing each other and separated by a small table. The location is at the corner of the café, near the window glass. Enable you to sit and relax and watching people passing you by.
I love sitting there, and after few minutes I would curl in that sofa…as if it was mine only…

2. Electrical socket (or in Indonesian : stop kontak listrik, please see this link *)
I totally need to be near it to re-charge my gadgets… So, I will be able to have a chit chat with my friends through my BB or do something else with my laptop… And my company is a hot Hazelnut Latte… Ah, that is soo beautiful

3. Hidden space
Often, a café have this kind of hidden spot, which people will not be able to notice if they are a first timer. If I hang out with more than two or three friends, we prefer to sit there. You know very well if there are four women sit together and have a chat, we are not going to have a conversation with low volume. Unless we are talking about someone who is happen to be there as well, but chances are slim. Sitting in the hidden place, will not bother other customers…until they choose to sit near us…

4. At the corner
If I go to the café alone, then I prefer to sit at the corner. Don’t know why but I just like it that way instead of seated in the middle of other tables. I feel comfortable to do my own things. Reading or writing anything that cross my mind…

So, what kind of favorite spot that you have in mind?

*) http://www.proz.com/kudoz/english_to_indonesian/electronics_elect_eng/2474897-convenience_receptacles.html

Movie Ratings

My parents, who love watching movies, told me that when I was still a kid, the guard and the person who sell ticket at the counter were very discipline. If the movie was for adult (not something pornographic, thank you very much ^___^), they would not let my parents took me in. Even though at that time, I was still under 3 years old. Which means probably I would sleep all the time inside the theatre, as my parents told the guard. But, they kept on insist to my parents to not bring me to watch movie.

How about nowadays? Pleaseee… I think the cinemas owner will not have cared if the parents brought their infants to the theatre. So, you can imagine in the middle of the bloody scenes suddenly you heard a loud cry from an infant or a three years old. The last one I assume already able to see whatever happen in the movie. Scared obviously and then cry.

The other time, I went to see TWILIGHT. I went alone and I saw a line of seats with only one vacant seat. Later, I found out that the other seats in that same line were occupied by kids. Not teenagers. But I was pretty sure they were all still under 10 years old. When the kissing scenes began they pretend to cover their eyes. But of course they were peeking. And when the romantic scenes with all those words expressing for loves, they were yawning. Bored. I wonder who was the person who responsible to take those kids (there were about 10 kids) to watch romantic movie. Because with so many kids, how can that person give guidance or advice about several scenes that may not be suitable for them?

I notice that in American movies they have this rating to decide whether the movie is okay to be watched by all ages or otherwise. The ratings are given by http://www.mpaa.org and here they are :

G:
General Audiences – All ages admitted
Maybe if in Indonesian movies, the rating is called : All Ages. This rating is not an indication that the movie is automatically for children only. I suppose, no offensive scenes and words are being used in the movie. And how to determine about the offensive kind of stuffs? I guess that is when the parents should taking the time to observe.

PG:
Parental Guidance Suggested. Some Material May Not be Suitable For
This one need a bit more attention from the parents to decide whether the movie is suitable for their children or not. I read that there is no drug use content in movies with this rating.

PG13
Parents Strongly Cautioned. Some Material May Be Inappropriate For Children Under 13.
I suppose for this kind of rating, parents strictly must make decision whether their children who still under 13 years old will be allowed to watch this movie. I suppose the consideration include on words, nudity scenes, drug use and any other material that not suitable for youngster to watch.

R
Restricted. Children Under 17 Require Accompanying Parent or Adult Guardian
Movie with this kind or rating is not allowing parents to bring their young children to watch it. Even children above 17 still need parents or adults to accompany them. The rating created based on hard language, violence scenes, sexual or nudity up to drug abuse.

NC-17
No One under 17 and Under Admitted
According to the site, though the movie is under this rating, should not be construed as a negative judgment in any sense. The rating simply indicate that the content of this movie is suitable only for adult audience.

If you wish to know more about the above ratings, please go to http://www.mpaa.org/ratings/what-each-rating-means

Hopefully, it will be useful for parents before they takes their children into the theatre.

Traveling buddies

If you go on a traveling trip with a bunch of people, you probably will have the opportunity to get to know the real habit of those people. And likewise, they will know more about you… Maybe there are things that should be discussed before having a trip together…

1. You are such a messy person!
You seem have a lousy memory about things that you have brought for the trip. So, all the items that have been arranged neatly inside your backpack or suitcase were suddenly out in the room. Your room mates could only watch in horror on the things scattered on your bed… They could have thoughts that a cat has entered the room and mess the whole things!

2. Can’t sleep with other people on the same bed
Your friend insist that she prefer to sleep on the floor… You and the others protesting her that there is no way we will let her do that… It turn out, your friend is simply not use to sleep with other people on the same bed… So, please don’t get offended if she refuse to be in the same bed with you and the other five girls… Is not because you are smelly or have any contagious disease… Is just her thing

3. Turn off the light…or not…
Some can’t sleep with the light turn on…others can’t sleep with the light turn off… If there are only the two of you in the same room…this will be a total disaster... Maybe it will need some kind of arrangement between the two of you… Will a little tiny small reading lamp be able to solve a problem?

4. Breakfast
Some don’t mind skipping the breakfast…others can’t live through the day without one… Budgeted hotel often only serve breakfast in small portion. I suppose we should talk about this before deciding which hotel we should stay… If the breakfast is not enough to give additional energy then what the heck….stack some food for the journey… Beside, are we going to travel or to have meals?

5. Suffocated
It turn out, that tiny cheap small room make you suffocated… It was like you are trap in some kind box that prevent you to breath or stretching your leg…
If you have problem with this, better inform your friends before you all booked cheap room even if the room has no hygiene problem

6. Ah…that hygiene problem
Your friend is allergic to bed sheet that not properly washed, street food, eating equipments… The supposedly fantastic holiday turn into a nightmare when your friend have rash all over her body… Obviously, she can’t stay in just any kind of place… Unable to eat anything worth consuming, and...well…you asked her then…

7. The never satisfied type
When the holiday plan was discussed, she or he leave all the details to you… With a promise that they will accept whatever come on the plate… In reality, they do not hesitate to complain or show their dislike when everything is not even close to the thing that they want…

8. Our goal to have this trip is…
Sleep and sleep or exploring? Do you prefer to stay in your room or go to the nearest spa and that’s it… Or you wish to explore the island and find anything interesting to buy? Or wait until the night comes and hit all the night clubs till dawn?
Maybe we do need to discuss about this…before going on a trip together…

The above are the only things I can think of right now ;)

Traveling is the best way to get to know each other… and to make the trip more fun than ever ^_______^

How to be a good neighbor

A few months ago, when the news about police discovery those members of terrorist cells were living among quiet neighborhood, people were shock. They were surprise to realize that those no good intention people could live and mingled with other people.

According to the newspaper, that situation should have been predicted. People nowadays have sort of motto: If you are not bothering me, then I will not bothering you.
With that kind of attitude, there will be little that we are going to find out about the living soul in our next door. Sure, we do know that he has a wife. Working in the city, but do not know exactly what kind of job the husband do. The wife is okay. She greets the neighbor but not talk much. Since everybody is busy…nobody take a notice. And then…boom! Cops all over the place and people went ga-ga…

I think I can understand why people nowadays choose to live the individual way. I mean, we have seen what would happen if we invite other people too much into our life. People then want to know about everything and start poking around the thing that they should have not. And they (pretend) not to know when is time for them to stop asking about every little detail in our life. If the information that they have from “spying” is to be kept to them, fine… We can let that go. But we all know too well that information about dirty little secret will not just stay in the box. It will be used as a material conversation with other neighbor. We hate that, don’t we? And therefore if we have neighbor who seems all fine from the outside and never bitching us…is sort of a blessing.

I think is still hard for us to be nice with other people without have to open the whole closet. And can we stop ourselves for lurking around other people’s business? Will we able to create creative conversation other than talking about other neighbor when there is a community gathering? Does all people who shut themselves from outside world is up to no good? How to differentiate people who just not so outgoing with those who indeed have something bad to be hidden? I want to hang out with my neighbor but I do not want them prying on my private life too much nor do I want to pry on them… What is the best way to do that?

Grumpy the serie : GADGET SHOULD NOT BE USED...

1) While you are (supposedly) having a chit chat with a friend…
Okayy… , we may check our email or sms or other form of messages from other people… But surely not every five minutes?
Are we there for the chit chat or for showing off the gadget?

2) While you are crossing the street
Oh my God! I forgot to tell the maid to have all your washed out clothes inside the house if is raining. Errr…, is it the risk of getting hit by the car worth it with all your laundries getting wet because you simply forget to tell your maid or whoever at home to bring those clothes into the house?
Nothing is more important than our life, right? Or not?
If a driver almost hit you because of your own negligence then do not scream at them or worse, you do not care at all and keep on walking slowly as if you are the only person on the planet who own a gadget…

3) While using the stairs…
Once upon a time, there was this pregnant woman walking ahead of other four (not pregnant) women on a stairs. Since the pregnant walked very slowly (I repeat: SO VERY SLOWLY), we all tried to be understanding and keep the pace as slowly as she did. Than, the other two women started to walk pass by that pregnant women and their understanding faces turns into annoyance. Curious, the last two women started to follow them to walk passing the pregnant woman. It turn out that pregnant woman did not walk slowly on the stairs due to her pregnancy (which by the size of her belly, it could be any moment). Instead the pregnant woman was too busy with her Blackberry.
OH MY GOD.
Can you imagine if she slip then fall backward on to those four women behind her? Sort of like domino effect, one down the other would fall down as well. The other would probably have broken bones but that pregnant woman? She was not only inviting danger onto herself but also to the unborn child.

4) During inside a theatre
Are you going to see that romantic or horror or sadistic or whatever movie on the big screen or not? Are you there to report to the whole world to your gadget every single progress of the story? Or perhaps the story is so boring therefore you prefer to do something else with your gadget? Seriously? Why in the heck you are there in the first place? Out of courtesy? Being polite? Bored at home? Please do not do that. The light from your gadget could make people around you go blind…

5) BY YOUR KID JUST TO PLAY GAME!
Well… For this one, I think I am saying that out of jealousy… Hehehehe…
I mean, watching five years old kids at the mall, parading that gadgets around for playing game only… It is sooo torturing… That gadget will probably be destroyed in a matter of days…probably hours…or even…minutes… Sighed…
Oh well… Nobody is perfect, right?

The real me

My friend asked me why with the spare time that I have now, I do not try to learn how to drive? I said to her that the motorcycle riders stressing me already and I am not even driving! Then we talked about our plan to go to Bandung together. My friend said that it will be better if we take travel car rather than using her car.
“I am afraid to get sleepy while driving on the free way,” she said to me.
“Really? I always enjoy myself driving on the free way… ,” I told her. “I need not to worry about those motorcycle riders suddenly take a turn out of nowhere!”
“Hahaha… It means you are the type who does not like challenge…”

Her words get me thinking.

Is it really? I am the kind of person who only want things to go smoothly and give up easily on every obstacles in life?

A few weeks later, I went to Mangga Dua Mall to have lunch with a friend. Now, I know there are two routes to go there using busway. But I am not familiar with the other route which actually the shortest one. I am not so sure whether my memory is right about whereabouts busway stop near the area of WTC Mangga Dua. Sooo, not want to get into lost in the area and becoming late to meet my friend, I choose the other route. Which is a longer one but I have familiar with the route. After the meeting, I decided to check on the shortest route. And it turn out my memory is correct. The busway stop indeed located in front of WTC Mangga Dua. And it only took me about an hour to get home. If I use the longer route, it would take at least an hour and half before I reached the destination!

Again, this get me thinking (geez, please stop the thinking…!)
Goodness, I am the type of person who prefer living the life without any obstacles or challenges. I whine at the slightest tiny problems, I complained when I bumped into something… I easily give up when two publishers rejected my first story… ( I would not call it a novel…because…well, it has not been published yet…)

Sad to think that all I want is something that I familiar with, though it will takes me longer route, or get me a headache because it is too much for me to get it done by myself… I just like to do things that I am already used to, or with no problem attached to it… Once I bumped into a problem, I already think that the universe hate me and therefore I can never be any good at everything…

And it took me 37 years to figure that out… Yikes….

Coffee and me


I am not a coffee lover actually. Long time ago (I make it sound like it has been ages ago) I drank coffee only to stay awake while studying for exams. And not that bitter kind of coffee. But usually I have mixed it with milk and sugar. I just need the effect to stay awake until late at night. Though I becoming drowsy due to lack of sleep in the next morning is another story.

Then one day, I made mistake by drinking both coffee and medicine for flue. Can you imagine, the other one is to make us stay awake for as long as possible. The other one is to make us get some rest by sleeping… I have problem with my heart at that time. And is enough to make me scared and stay away from drinking coffee.

Then years after, a friend of mine introduce me to the world of coffee again. She asked me to drink with her at Starbuck. At first, I did not want to because I think is expensive. And…hello…? I do not like coffee, remember? So, she told me to drink Frappuccino as it is not all coffee. And you know what? Since I have been avoiding coffee for ages, the drink which contain probably so little of coffee gave me bad effect. I was unable to sleep. For TWO DAYS! Can’t you believe that?! And the worst part was, those two days were not on weekend but still on working days. So, I spent two cranky days being so grumpy. As all I wanted to do just find something for me to sleep on. But I could not do that because I have works to do. The ridiculous part was to avoid being sleepy in the office, eventually I bought a cup of coffee to stay awake. LOL! My friend turn off her handphone everytime she took me to have a drink to Starbuck. As I would be calling her or texting her to inform that I CAN’T SLEEP! THANKS FOR THE COFFEE!

Nowadays, though I still unable to drink bitter hot coffee, I love going to the café for a cup of Frappuccino or hot chocolate milk. I like spending time alone, reading book or writing something. Enjoying all of that with no disturbance. (Unless someone sitting beside me bring a toddler or a rascal who keep on screaming on top of their voice). Other time, I like to have chit chat time with my friends while having a hot latte. The coffee shop brought us together even though we have different flavor. My friend love Caramel Macchiato, I love blended Frappuccino, the other loves Latte…

So, come on alls… Let us have a cup of coffee and spending time together… ^____^

Be a listener...not a judge

My friend once asked me; can we be a good listener and not judging the person who tell us about their life?

Like for example, your friend tell you about her day in her office. How she has to handle overloaded works, her colleague not being cooperative, her boss not helping at all… And while you listening to her, you can’t help but thinking…oh dear… My problem is harder than you… Why are you being such a whiny…? Just bumping into problem like that and then you are already like this? I never realized you are such a weak person.

Or we have a friend who keeps back and forth about two options. She is unable to make her mind whether to take a job offer in another office or just stick to the current job. She hates the current job and the people in her office. But she hesitates to take the new job because she is afraid she will not be able to handle the pressure. So she keeps on asking, thinking, calculating, asking… on and on… You suddenly look at her being a person who does not have the ability to take important decision. She should feel so lucky to get an offer from another company. Why would she hesitate? Especially, if she keep on complaining about her office!

First, we could not understand the real situation from the people who share their stories with us… I suppose they do not tell us the whole stories and only want to unload the burden. Not hearing the whole stories made us assuming things and end up in judging our own friends. Surprise to find out that this is what on the mind of our friends… This is how our friend reacts to a problem… This is what our friend feeling towards something. We find it hard to place ourselves to be a person who just listens…

I admit, even though I do not want my friends to judge me when I pouring my problems on them… I often can’t help not to do that to others…
Really need to learn to control whatever on my feeling and my mind… Learn how to listen and not automatically process and make our own conclusion.
All we need is someone to listen and support and also the other way around…

Well, at least I promise I can try…

Behind the smile


I only saw the glimpse of an episode DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES… about how every characters in that movie were about to take a picture together. All of them were smiling or making funny face. Nobody really knows what they were hiding behind that smile.

So, what are we smiling about in this life?
1. Just one of those happy days like you can do everything and nothing can ever stop you…
2. A victorious smile as we manage to reach our goal or becoming a champion :D
3. A relief smile as we finally find a way to solve our problem
4. A smile while greeting someone else, usually infectious…though depends on the person who receive the smile
5. A sad smile, try to hide the sad feeling inside and just put that smile on the face
6. A forced smile, really find nothing to be smiled about but for the sake of being polite…
7. Vicious smile, enjoying the bad things that happen to other people…
8. Warning smile, like I-Know-what-you-really-are-so-do-not-mess-with-me kind of smile… Well, you get the idea

What’s your reason to smile?

Jealousy


Yesterday I was reading one of Agatha Christie’s short stories and read something interesting. Is about a strange relationship between two characters who hate each other but depends one another. The first one is outrageously smart and gorgeous. The other one is not only ugly but also stupid. However, the smart one has a weak body while the stupid one has strength like a bull. The smart one hates the fact that she is weak while her so-called-mate is much stronger than her. She hides her jealousy by mocking anything she could think of.

I remembered ages ago, I have a so-called-friend just like the smart one. We were friends since elementary school though not so close. When we entered the same university and be in the same class, we sort of hang out together for a while. Until, she keeps on mocking me about my weight. At first, I just think she is just joking and nothing to be serious about it. But after a while, I finally can’t stand it and told my Mom about it.

My Mom could not believe it because she also knows my-so-called-friend. She then told me to find anything that I could use to mock her back.

“Isn’t that a bit rude?” I asked my Mom.
“Well, your friend did not think so, then why should you?” my Mom replied back.

The next day, as I have thought she was mocking me again. While waiting for the teacher, we all sit in front of the class talking. Since there was no seat she told me to sit with her on the same bench. Once I sat, she mocked me again about my weight. I think I had had it. So, I stood up and said, “I would rather be fat rather than have skin like you… It was as if you are an overcooked meat or something…”

Then I left her immediately. We hardly ever spoke again after that.

We are just human. We may jealous with the beauty or strength of our own friend. But, how could you ever know that maybe your friend also jealous at you. Often, we want something that we can not have. Not realizing that we are unique and therefore we complete one another…

Can we stop being jealous to other people?

I disagree with you...not hate you

I saw a status of a friend today on Twitter… She said, I do not hate you… I just do not always agree with you…

I think that is interesting, because sometimes we (me included) feel that when people do not approve of what we are doing or have their agreement, we just assume they hate us. And therefore, whatever we say or do will not get their approval or agreement.

But we can not think that people who always agree with us is the one who loves us. Perhaps they are your subordinate. They feel their future depends on your mercy, so whatever you said; they prefer to just go along with it… You might the type of supervisor who loves receiving praises all the times. So, your subordinates choose to play safe.

If people always agree with us, how do we know whether there is any flaw in your action or plan? Beside, isn’t it a bit boring to hear people always agreeing with you… What’s to talk about?

When people disagree maybe they see thing from their own perspective. We could enlighten them from our point of view. Explaining to them, this is the reason why I think like that, or why I choose to take that action or what will be my future plan. Who knows maybe they will explain the reason why they disagree and perhaps could give you useful feedback if you want to get on with whatever you are planning to do.

The point is, when people being disagree does not mean they automatically hate you. They are just being honest with you. It is possible they just do not understand and perhaps have been there and did not work out for them.

Of course, if they disagree with you all the time you opened your mouth, they yes, they probably do hate you from the bottom of their heart ^____^;;