Be a listener...not a judge

My friend once asked me; can we be a good listener and not judging the person who tell us about their life?

Like for example, your friend tell you about her day in her office. How she has to handle overloaded works, her colleague not being cooperative, her boss not helping at all… And while you listening to her, you can’t help but thinking…oh dear… My problem is harder than you… Why are you being such a whiny…? Just bumping into problem like that and then you are already like this? I never realized you are such a weak person.

Or we have a friend who keeps back and forth about two options. She is unable to make her mind whether to take a job offer in another office or just stick to the current job. She hates the current job and the people in her office. But she hesitates to take the new job because she is afraid she will not be able to handle the pressure. So she keeps on asking, thinking, calculating, asking… on and on… You suddenly look at her being a person who does not have the ability to take important decision. She should feel so lucky to get an offer from another company. Why would she hesitate? Especially, if she keep on complaining about her office!

First, we could not understand the real situation from the people who share their stories with us… I suppose they do not tell us the whole stories and only want to unload the burden. Not hearing the whole stories made us assuming things and end up in judging our own friends. Surprise to find out that this is what on the mind of our friends… This is how our friend reacts to a problem… This is what our friend feeling towards something. We find it hard to place ourselves to be a person who just listens…

I admit, even though I do not want my friends to judge me when I pouring my problems on them… I often can’t help not to do that to others…
Really need to learn to control whatever on my feeling and my mind… Learn how to listen and not automatically process and make our own conclusion.
All we need is someone to listen and support and also the other way around…

Well, at least I promise I can try…
3 Responses
  1. Anonymous Says:

    Kata org gw pendengar yg baik tp sekaligus pengkritik yg tajam(irit kata tp lgsg kena katanya) mungkin krn gw pendengar yg baik jd tanggapanku pun mengena ya? Apakah ini berhubungan? Mnrt-mu???-sera- nita

  2. Agree with you..
    "All we need is someone to listen and support and also the other way around…"
    If you wanna be listened, then you have to, at least try, to listen to others.

  3. bridge Says:

    @Sera-nita Maksud gue sih, kalau ada orang yg lagi curhat, kita (dalam hati) jangan langsung menghakimi... Uh, ternyata elo baru kejadian gini aja udah cengeng, atau ah elo nyari2 alasan aja... etc... Kadang orang gak butuh untuk langsung dikritik atau diberi feed back kan... Cuman mau cerita aja

    @sillygirl... We should try both ways the way around

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