Fashion, again...

Usually I have never give a damn about what other people wearing. Honestly, it is not my business no matter how bizarre their outfit look to me. However, there were times when I was with my friends who have sharp tongue. Not so proud about it of course.



Do you remember my story about a colleague of mine, who likes to folded her scarf to look like a gigantic flower around her neck? Well, that sort of thing. Why should I even bother to talk behind her back with other colleague and all of us laugh out loud on her appearance? It is her body, it is her scarf, she can do whatever she wants with it.


Since we started to having friends or acquaintances, it seems very important to us that what ever we think, speak, wear is acceptable by other people. When I was in high school, girls usually get their hair to be curly, not really curly, by you know, with wave and all that. And if we were not, they would come up and say, why your hair like that? Straight with no style at all. Or, why you are not wearing this shoe, or that bag, and lots of thing. When Demi Moore became famous because of her role in “GHOST”, many women adapted her hairstyle. Not care, if the style fit their face or not. We choose to follow what other people choose for us because we need to be safe in our own group rather to hear their rejection. And to think, that we are not in some kind of competition, so why we have to bother to think what other people might think on our outfit?

I suppose when people do not ask our opinion, then keep the opinion to ourselves. But try to give an honest answer if they do ask.

And before say something bad about other people's appearance then try to look ourselves in the mirror...

Don't say it because your friends tell it so...

High Heels is just not me

We all know only too well, that sometimes, in the urge of being pretty perfect, people torture themselves with any kind of drugs or treatment. Or bizarre habit. Like eating paper toilet for just being skinny all the time, avoiding the sun so the skin will not get burn. Put night conditioner, day conditioner, noon conditioner, or whatever oily things to be stamped on the face. The medicine claimed to be able to remove wrinkles, flex, or whatever unwanted thing that stuck up in the face.

 

One of the saddest things (at least for me) that women should wear to look professional at work, pretty at the party, gorgeous while clubbing, is the-probably-20-cm-highheels! I have seen and read about tips on high heels. If you want to look professional in the office, please leave out those flat shoes of yours or worse, your jogging shoes. Wear only those high heels. It will make your legs look smaller and beautiful. And it can add a few cm if you are a very short person. In short, the high heels help women to boost their performance. As I quote from Wikipedia about reasons for wearing high heels include:

they change the angle of the foot with respect to the lower leg, which accentuates the appearance of calves

they change the wearer's posture, requiring a more upright carriage and altering the walk

they make the wearer appear taller

they cause the wearer's legs to look longer

Reasons for not wearing high heels; quoted from Wikipedia include:

they can become painful or damaging for some wearers.

they can shorten the wearer's stride

they can render the wearer unable to run
 

And as again I quote from Wikipedia: High-heeled shoes slant the foot forward and down while bending the toes up. The more that the feet are forced into this position, the more it may cause the Achilles Tendon to shorten. This may cause problems when the wearer chooses lower heels or flat-soled shoes. When the foot slants forward, a much greater weight is transferred to the ball of the foot, increasing the likelihood of damage to the underlying soft tissue which supports the foot. In many shoes, style dictates function, either compressing the toes, or forcing them together, possibly resulting in blisters, corns, hammer toes, bunions and maybe other medical conditions, most of which are permanent, and will require surgery to alleviate the pain. High heels--because they tip the foot forward-- put pressure on the lower back through making the derrière push outwards and crushing the lower back vertebrae and contracting the muscles of the lower back.

My friends usually prepare sandals for exchange her high heels from time to time. And me? I use snickers or any kind of sport shoes to go to work and of course, coming home from work. I did not use them until these last 5 years. Until I realize that my shoes (sort of like men shoes, but with heels, of course) were getting depraved very fast. It means I have to find new shoes. Again. And trust me, it is so hard to find shoes that can be used to be worn in the office. That is when I finally decided to wear my-so-called-office-shoes in the office only. And using sport shoes is great to help you when you have to standing for a long time in the bus. Well, at least it helps me a lot.

I do admire those women who are still able to wear high heels and running wildly to chase a bus and then standing in the bus for hours and not even look a bit of tired. I would start whining and whining silently because my feet are killing me. But then, we are all can not be the same person.

So, I stack my office shoes in the office. And for my other activities I used either flip flop or simply flat shoes. As for the high heels, I use them only at parties and church. Never wore them more than 2 hours. It did make my feet look slimmer. But the pain is hard to endure. And since I am not sort of a hot executives workers, why bother with some fake appearance and torture myself?

Salute to those women who in the name of beauty and fashion manage to endure a lot of pain just to amuse other with their appearance. As, I sure heck unable to force myself to do so.

And no salute to those women who force their little girl wearing high heels so soon. I know you are a fashionista, but seriously?

Daily life in hospital

Since my Mom still need infusion containing medicine and nutrition…therefore if she wish to go to the toilet…I have to carry that thing all the way with her… Which is kinda a nerve breaking because if we accidentally pull it then nurses here have to do the infusion again and the process is not easy.

And for several times at night, she woke me up to help her walk to the toilet and for that I am having less and less time to sleep. Not that I am able to sleep comfortably on the floor. The mattress that I bring is terribly thin… My back is killing me…

Around 5 AM, everyday two nurses will come to our room and said to us happily, “Good morrniiing… Would you like us to help you take a bath or just simply wash your body a bit?”

They bring this small can containing water with a special trolley which causes very noisy voice… Not all nurses able to push the trolley without causing havoc in the morning. As if not enough, the person who help to wait the patient turn on the television very loud… Gggrrrhhh… Grumbling I went to the bathroom and wash my face…

There was no point in trying to go back to sleep because there will be traffic of people such as nurses come and go to check my mother blood pressure or body temperature. After that around 07.00 someone from the kitchen brought hot tea to my Mom. Obviously I have to give it to my Mom after waking her up… Sleepily after taking the tea she went back to sleep. But not for long… on 07.30 sharp they brought breakfast for my Mom. She only want chicken porridge and I finished the rest of her meal and that is a boiled egg.

If you think we can get back to sleep again after her breakfast, you are totally wrong. Few minutes later people from cleaning service come by and swept and mop the floor… So, I have to gather my sleeping equipment and wait for them finished their job. Then afterwards another people come again to change the bed sheets. Without realizing it, the clock suddenly show that time has arrived at 09.30 AM!  There is no way we can go back to sleep…

Sometimes I look at those sick people in their old age…and thinking can I have the gift of not being sick before I die? Not that I mind looking after my Mother (though sometimes she drive me up to the wall) but I have no idea who is going to look after me when I am old.

We just live that up to the Master above…, I suppose…

At the hospital

I have been staying with my Mom in this hospital since last Friday 23rd July 2010 up to now. She has a kidney’s problem and still under observation. I do sincerely hope she will get well soon as hospital really gives me the creep.

Anyway, previously I have talked about words that biting back at you along with my judgment on people with loud noise. I know that I should have not been talking about something that I do not like as here we are… spending a room in the hospital with someone whose family can only talk with loud voices.

Since we have to share with another person, there is really nothing we can do about it.

As usual, me and my mother always try to open conversation with the “neighbor” as we are going to spend for don’t know how long. We found out that the patient next to my mom has a stroke and therefore she is totally paralyzed. She is totally depends on her children (which luckily she has 9!) to take care of her. All of her children are older than me and all of them already married and even some of them are have grandchildren as well!

Therefore, you can imagine if just one kid bring the whole family to that room. It was so crowded and they are unable to talk in hush hush voice but all speaking very loudly. Perhaps they want the patient to be able to hear them or whatever, but it starting to make my Mother annoyed. But so far, we said nothing. Well, there are something probably that they do not like about us so vice versa there is nothing to discuss.

Then this morning, around 06.00 AM when two nurses came noisily to give bath, the one who stay with the patient woke up and immediately turn on the televison using high volume. My Mother awake instantly and forget her calm manner. She asked the television to be turned off immediately. It did not work. And after that, she spent the whole day grumbling for lack of sleep.

Oh dear, I should have never talk about typical of someone that I do not like as I surely heck know it will bite me right in my face. HELP!

Tattoo...

In Indonesia having tattoo in the old days…would make people automatically assume that you are a wanted criminal or someone involve in crime… Tattoo in the big city never considered as a form of art though many ethnic groups in Indonesia having typical tattoos as part of their heritage.

If let us say you were teenagers living in Indonesia and like to have tattoo for fun, you would find many difficulties when entering the adult life. If you wish to apply for work in the office, when the doctor perform medical examination on you and find out that you have tattoo…please rest assure that you would not get the job. You would be labeled as a bad boy or bad girl and therefore should never be given a chance to enter the society.

Me? I like seeing tattoo but never imagine to have one on me. Maybe because I have seen what would happen to that tattoo on the old skin who obviously not as smooth as twenty years before. My uncle who has one on his arm…showed that ugly example how tattoo would look like in the old age… And since that on, I never really want one stuck on me.

Then, around 2001 my friend introduced me to temporary tattoo and I think it was fun. It will only take around two weeks before the temporary tattoo disappeared from my skin. And since that on, I sort of addicted to the temporary tattoo. I am a kind of person who get bored easily and temporary tattoo is good for me. Beside having temporary tattoo while we are on holiday is so much fun…  We really open minded to everything including having those tattoos in several unusual areas… Heheheheh (Not me, though….honest!) 

I guess the reason why I do not like permanent tattoo is because I don’t like something permanent stuck with me forever. As silly as it sounds, but permanent tattoo for me is like having a commitment on something. And that my friend, is something I give very rarely to several people in this world… 

Break even point

Long, long time ago, people here in Jakarta usually brings present to a wedding party in a form of usable things... or at least they think will usable... Such as a set of tea pot, another set of tea pot, dining set, another dining set, etc. Often, due to the similarity, the married couple re-wrapped the gift and give it to another new bride.

And then, I can not really remember when it was exactly people in Jakarta starting to give cash to the newlywed. They will prepare a box to keep the envelope at the front gate, guarded by the so-called PAGAR AYU (I honestly do not know how to translate it in ENglish... ... BEAUTIFUL GUARDS???) Anyway... bringing cash was still uncommon that day. So, often me and my family got people staring at us while they bring huge presents containing don't know what. While me and my family just bring this little small envelope, stated from us to the newlywed.

Why people suddenly decided to bring cash instead of gifts?

Well, for one thing, is so practical to both of the parties. The inviter will be happy to receive the gift in cash, so they can buy things that they trully need and wants. The invitees, also happy because they are not going to be hassled to think ... Oh, dear.... what should we bring to them? Oh, I know... a set of tea pot (WHAT? NOT THAT AGAIN???!!)

But when my parents heard that the people who give out wedding party hope to get at least break event point from the "GIFTS" that people gave them, my parents found it unbelievable...

"You throw a party because you wish sincerely to share your happiness with others... Not in hoping to get gifts in return to cover the expenses!"

I could only smile at them. Although I do agree with them, but I think I can still understand why those people wants something to cover their expenses... Giving out a wedding party nowadays... is totally washed out your savings...! Me, personally ... if someday my future going to be husband have limited budget, then we should we have the party to close family only... Or, even better... just use the money to go straight on the honeymoon!! Yeah, right... Like my parents going to let me do that....

Anyway, back to the wedding party.. I remembered a party of my friend a few years ago. Usually, we are hoping to get to know a new guy or whatever at a wedding party. But most of the guests at that time were old couples... Only a few people around my age. So, I asked my friend about it. I mean, I saw no colleagues of her hubby in that party. Or at least her colleagues... Her answer was a bit shocking. She said, that she only invited really close friends, and the other guests were the friends and colleagues of her parents.

"They will bring me lots of cash. So, rather I invited them than my colleagues or his colleagues. THey just going to bring little cash and eat the meal here like crazy..."

I appreciate her honesty, but still I was like... WHAT???

IMHO, people should not push it to have grand wedding party if they are unable to .... It will be foolish to expect that your guests will give your money back after thrown a big huge party... Let it go... You wish to have grand party, there you have it... If you reach the break event point, well that is a plus... But, is it really the point of you having a party at all???

I am nice because I have no money...

I remembered this dialogue in this movie: French Kiss. Meg Ryan, the cast in the movie; said (more or less) : If you treat the French Waitress nicely, they will treat you like shit. But if you treat them like shit, they will treat you nicely.


I used to think that this is some kind of tips on how to deal with the French Waitress only. WRONG. You can use the above tip, conditionally. 

The meaning of the above dialogue is, if you treat the waitress nicely, they willl assume that you are not a rich person and you being nice is only a lame tactic to get cheaper prize. This will also means that you can not afford to give them big tip. So, screw with this nice person. That is why, they treat you like shit.
However, if you treat them like shit, they will assume that you either just being stuck up or have tonz of fortunes in your bank accounts to allow your rude behaviour. This is means, if they are capable to please you, you will award them with big tips. And if not, you are still holding something for their life. You can either ask the manager to fired them, if they are not please you. Or you can make sure they will not get a decent work anywhere in this world. This is why, they treat you nicely.

My opinion, it depends on the place. Sometimes, when we treat the waitress nicely, they will response by giving all the help that you needed. Sometimes, they just simply rude and ignore you completely. It is all depends with you as well. You want to be nice only to the right people. Or, you keep being nice, knowing that they are in the lower standard below you for unable to act decent towards other human being. Or perhaps they have something on their mind which made them unbearable to deal with. Well, okay if that is too much...a simple flat face will do just fine to these kind of people ^__^

I feel sorry for you...

A few years ago, someone confessed something to me. He said he has no more feeling towards his wife after two years marriage!


I tried to suppress my feeling just to listen more because well, being single I do curious about marriage's life. He added that he was actually marrying her just because he pitied her! (OOOKAYYY)
Another reason was because they have been dating for a very long time. So her parents were kinda pursued him to go on with the wedding
He has confessed his feeling with his wife and of course his wife do not wish to go on with the divorce.
But he really do not wish to continue his marriage.

It’s nobody’s fault, he said to me shrugging his shoulder. It’s just he has changed to another person
And since life is so short, he did not wish to spend his life with someone that he did not love anymore….
Spooky, huh?
He was wondering why his wife couldn’t just take it easy and let their marriage end

I said, that would be impossible for him to expect coolness from his wife
Naturally she would reject the idea, because her feelings for him is still great... And probably because they have a son already...

Seriously, I do not think want to end up in a marriage because a guy feel sorry for me and therefore while he waits for the love of his life, he accept to be married over pitifulness...

Will that be sad that living single forever or otherwise?

Debt, debt, debt...

A few years ago, I read an article from someone famous in Indonesia : Samuel Mulia about having debts... 

Here let me translate my favorite lines:

IF YOU MANAGE TO HAVE DEBTS, THEN YOU HAVE TO MANAGE TO PAY THE DEBTS. DO NOT SPILL SO MANY USELESS REASON FOR NOT BE ABLE TO PAY, FOR GETTING PARDON DAN LET OTHERS TORTURED BECAUSE OF IT. IF YOU HAVE NEVER THINK ABOUT THE RISK OF HAVING DEBTS, WHY IN THE HELL YOU WANT OTHERS TO THINK AND BE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU? IT IS BEING CALLED SELFISH! 

I guess this is also goes to the people who have 7 credit cards and keep on hiding behind someone else back to avoid the responsibility to pay. Many people are like that. They can not stand not to live in style. So they started to buy everything to match up with the fashion. By using credit cards, it seems you can have everything for free. Well, the reason why the card was called credit card, and not free card, meaning that you have to pay them within times as per agreement. You can not pay full, there will be interest. And suddenly from only using 100,000 it can develop to 150,000 and soon will be 200,000.

The recent news here about the release of an elderly woman after being jailed for two years. This woman was jailed because she was charged with fraud for million of Rupiahs. Her ungrateful (bastard) son asked her to sign a paper which she claimed do not understand about. This paper later being used to against her and she has to deal with her son’s wrong doings.

She was sentenced few years and after two years our president gave her pardon and she finally released.

Again, for heaven sakes... If you have debts please don't just ran off and leave the mess for your family to deal with... 
If you think you can' take it, imagine how will your old parents have to deal living in prison for something that they did not do...


(FOR THAT UNGRATEFUL SON, I DO HOPE THE POLICE CATCH YOU SOMEDAY...!!)

Vacation plan ahead...

I hardly ever travel on my own so I never really know what things I should bring and should not.

My first traveling without my parent was around year 2001. My friend said that she wanted to go to Bali and asked me to go with her. I was excited of course but a bit confuse what to bring on my very first vacation. So, I brought almost about everything. Formal dress (have no idea up to now what good that would do), several jeans, lots of t-shirts and even accessories…! When I left home to Bali I brought this big suitcase with me. Then after the holiday, I brought two suitcases as the one that I have already unable to contain things that I bought from Bali.

After several visits to and from Bali, I finally realized things that I should bring. If I want to go to the beach for a week, then things I should bring are :

  1. Sandal or flip flop
  2. Sunglasses… (for taking photos of course….heheheh)
  3. White t-shirts obviously, just bring a few
  4. Few short pants (anything but jeans…it will melted you away)
  5. Lotion for sun block
  6. Lotion for after burn (trust me, you will need this as well)
  7. Scarf to cover your head to protect your hair from the blazing sun
  8. Sling bag to bring anything you need
  9. Fabric cloth to be used for anything you want…
  10. If you plan to go somewhere fancy at night, then a decent dress will do ….
  11. Toothbrush, shampoo, soap, towel probably provided by five stars hotel. But if you stay at a guest house or motel then there is nothing wrong to bring them by yourself. Bring those in the small form so it will be easier to carry.


And after I put all of that in my suitcase…, surprise… I do not event need a big suitcase! Just a small one and even there is enough space to bring something from the vacation for people back home.

No wonder we have to know exact situation and weather whenever we want to go out of the city…
My friend who constantly out of the country due to her work, already know what she should bring for a day or two… Which means she will not bring all from her closet and get fined due to over baggage.

So, now after I gain some knowledge…where is my next destination?

(hhehehehe…planning ahead is better)

Backfiring...

Since I am still single up to now, I often got so many questions about what kind of guy that I would like to date (so they can set me up with I don’t know who…) … Then the other would ask what kind of guy that I dislike (so, they obviously will not going to set me up with that kind of guy)…

But, I never really want to say the thing that I like or dislike anymore… Not only is going to bite me back in the most unpleasant way… to tell you the truth I was not really mature to deal with the consequences of my own words…  

I used to say that I do not like accounting and therefore I studied management. In order to get jobs that not relate to counting numbers and make book keeping. And yet, the recent five years I have to do work that related with book keeping (even though in the simpler forms)…  
I used to say that I would never work in a place that has a lot of things to do with numbers… And yet, there I was… calculating numbers into so many figures I always get dizzy in the end… The numbers “6” often read as “9” …. Well, you get my point…  

I saw soo many friends of mine saying that I did not want to live in the polluted city, or I do not want to marry with that smelly guy, or I will never ever going to work in that place. And you know what…they all have it and stuck with it in their life. Of course we often making fun of them… Reminding them of their own words echoing in the sky…

So, I am not so sure that I would say out loud to the universe that I do not want a certain type of guy to be my one and only… As I am pretty sure the universe will tends to hear it wrong and end up giving me the exact person that I did not want the most…

The make over idea


You know many shows about fashion make over, right? Usually a bunch of friends and families decided to nominee this person to have a make over on television… The considerations including reasons like this person dress like a kid, or dress like a clown (meanings: too colorful) or dress like someone who to sell herself on the street… (meanings: everything is like short of fabric or simply too short…)

There are few shows like that; some of them I do think wear the most bizarre outfit that you can imagine… Certainly a mother of two teenagers should not wear an outfit that looks exactly the same like her daughters… You know how we like to dress up little girls with anything but they still look cute? Yes, because they are still little kids and we just adore them with whatever they are wearing… (just as long they do not wear my high heels)…


But then, sometimes I think when is the limit of bizarreness that we can take before finally telling that someone…,” Hey, I think your outfit is not suitable for you… “

As, I think I need to think the following first before said something like that…
1) Did that person ask our opinion?
For example, she or he wants to apply for a position that from a quick glance need to dress up more formal than the usual… While this person prefer something casual…
Will we just say to him or her that their clothes will probably making less impression though they are actual capable to do the job? Or we simply wait until they ask?

2) What about myself?
I am most definitely not a fashionista. So often…there is this feeling…who am I to tell them that they did not have a sense of wearing it right or otherwise? What if they get offended and retorted back that I am no fashionista myself… Therefore what give me the right to tell them that their outfit is ridiculous?

On that shows, some of the person says that they do need a make over because various reasons… Like they want people to see them with respect, or to make good impression on others, or just want to look nice again like the old days…
Some, completely have no idea and their family has to be the one who drag them to the show…

I suppose it is up to us again, whether we start uncomfortable with what we are wearing or with ourselves… Because if we feel good about it (even if we wear short pants to go to the wedding party) and feel nothing wrong about it…, even there are thousand of other people looking at us in disbelief we would not care…

So, the conclusion… I do not think I am going to come up to a person and say…hi, that’s a nice scarf but you wear it wrong by making them look gigantic on your neck… 

Not recommended

I have this acquaintance who always likes to fight or argue almost about everything. She loves the excitement to argue with people and definitely loves to win…

Like for example, she got fined because she was late in paying for her credit card’s usage. She then, called the customer service and started her argument that she does not want to pay the fine. The reason she was late as she did not receive the billing notification on time. She screamed and I did not know what else she was saying… Then she put the phone and smiled widely at me… She got what she want… She said all she has to do just close her credit card… I asked her did she really get the bill notification late? I was not surprise when she said it did not/

The other time, she got into heated argument as again she was fined. This time was with another credit card provider. According to the credit card company, she was fined because she was late in transferring the payment. Since she used different bank, the payment process took more than a day. And if you guess that she did the payment on the very last day of the deadline…then you are so right… Naturally she said she want to close her credit card because they have been a disappointment. And yes, the fine was waived.

Then she asked me whether I could help her get a new credit card, the same with I have been using. I flatly rejected her request.


“But why?” she asked me with bewildered look. “Wouldn’t that be good for you to bring them another new customer?”

“Not when you start screaming at them about not having billing notification on time, or about you have no idea that it takes more than one day to process the payment, or you demands them to give you more gifts…,” I rolled my eyes. “They are going to kill me…slowly…” 

I think is good that you are a fighter and willing to do anything to get what you want… But, I also think as an employee…and put myself in the customer service’s position. If I have to deal with just oneeee freaky customer like her…I think I will have a heart attack. And therefore, I am not going to be responsible in killing someone else by recommend her to be their new customer…

I am her friend, I accept her just like she accept me for whatever flaws we have… She is just not a very good customer…

Loud!


What first thing that cross your mind when hearing someone talk too loud or almost categorized as shouting in public place…
I think before we jump into a wild conclusion why people talking too loud…I will try to see it from myself..
I think I speak too loud while in the public place with my friends then the reasons are :
1. My surrounding is full with people talking loudly or the café realizing that me and my friends have been sitting there too long…therefore they started to play loud music…with high volume :D
While we all insisting to keep on talking…there would be no other way than to raise our voices as well…

2. When I was talking about something that made me angry … I often not realizing that my voice suddenly keep on rising until the highest volume…. Kidding…

3. When I was talking about something that made me happy or excited… I get animated when I talked about something exciting… And soon, my voice suddenly already need to be muted… Usually my friends patted me in the back…and I sort of calm down a bit…


            If other people who talk too loud, then I (as usual) just assume that they :
1.      Try to get other people’s attention…as they love when people started to staring at them…
2.      Have inherited this ethnic’s gen who usually speak loudly wherever…whenever…
3.      Rude because obviously this person think everybody is deaf and unable to hear whatever come out from his or her mouth…
4.      Want everyone in the whole world know whatever they are doing (not a perfect candidate to be a spy as unable to keep a low profile)
5.      Have limited ability to control their emotion and therefore the volume of their voices as well.
6.      Just a habit that they have ever since they are born… (well, probaly?)

Anyone care to add? ;)

Consumed by envy

I do not know if you ever heard this joke….

A man was driving his old-almost-broken-out-of-style motorcycle when someone riding a Harley suddenly already beside him. That man yelling to him,” Hey! Have you ever riding this thing?”
Feeling insulted the first man quickly hit the gas so he could stay away from the Harley rider. However, soon that man approaching him and once again asked the same thing, “Hey! I asked have you ever riding this thing?!”

Before he snapped back to the Harley’s rider suddenly the Harley moved on forward him… Then within few second the Harley’s rider loosing his balance and fall along with the motorcycle. Feeling he is in heaven now…, the first rider hurried up to approach the Harley’s rider… Not to help but to mock only,” You deserve that fall for being such a rich jerk!”
And the Harley’s rider, try to hide the pain due to the fall replied back, “ I was not being snob… I asked you whether you have ever riding Harley because I have no idea how to stop riding it without have to fall like this…”

Yeah, yeah… Of course that story just for joke…

But if we were the in the position of the first rider, what would we do? If that was me, I would have been thinking the same thing… Oh dear… This Harley’s rider is a total jerk…! He knows I am riding this old-almost-broken motorcycle…it means I have no money to buy a new one… Then how dare he even ask me have I ever riding that motorcycle of him? He is really looking for trouble and only wants to insult me!

I have to admit that sometimes the jealousy clouded my mind that when someone I envied a lot asking help for real…not only that I did not help that person… But I also got suspicious… Does this person really asking me for helping hand? Or just want to show off those precious expensive things? Does he or she testing me whether I have enough knowledge to be their friends?

That assumption sometimes sounds so silly when we figure the real problem. But once consumed our mind, it blinded our eyes and most of all our heart to other people’s problem. What can we think is only from our point of view and blocking all possibilities that may happen.

Ah, well… Perhaps like when a friend of mine giving me her lovely ring. When I asked her why on earth she gave it to me…she then answered that she has to wear accessories made in gold. The ring that she gave me was not. And therefore her skin was allergic to it… Should I be offended hearing her reason? Obviously not! Of course I don’t know how I would take it if I heard it from a complete stranger… Then again, a complete stranger wouldn’t give me their ring…Even if is only an imitation. 

It is easy to be said than done

You know that once I posted about when sometimes we were so tired try to give advice to your friends in order for them to get out from not so healthy relationship…? Or about when people disagree with us does not mean they dislike us…

 Someone gave response to me that it is easy for me to say such things because at that time I was not in the same situation like those people… If I have not been in the same experience then it will be easy for me to give many logical advices… 
It is true…when related about a relationship. I currently not in a relationship or being intoxicated with someone… Therefore how in the heck I understand what my friend has been going through with her companion? But, actually I do know that desperate feeling on being sure that this relationship has a meaning… That we against all odds wish that this relationship does not come apart… And since we know the agony of that broken dream, we do not want our friends waste anymore times with unhealthy relationship. How do we know is unhealthy? Well, if she keeps on crying all the times with us about her relationship…do you think is still healthy? But, of course I know that at that time we do not need someone that give advice against our will… In the end, again is up to us… what action should we take…no matter what people said to us…

The other one…well, this is a bit funny… Yeah, yeah… I know I was the one who said if people disagree with us then it does not mean they hate us…
Last week I made a review (in Indonesian) about Eclipse. I dislike the Bella character but I enjoyed reading the book… I think Stephenie Meyer did a great job… So, I just wrote the outline and in the end I said…I like seeing that movie just to see Taylor Lautner… Then I have a response from 19 years old boy who said that he did not understand why people so into TWILIGHT SAGA as they all are bad movies with poor acting’s quality… As for me, I never see those movies as something to be taken so serious… So, we finally end up in (silly…IMHO) argument until I decided to stop answering his response… What made smile in the end, why I got the feeling that he hate me because I merely WATCHED the movie? Did he has any expectation that I will not see that movie? Even just to see the male characters? Maybe I am not mature enough to handle argument so I get the feeling that he dislike me just because he disagree with me?
Hehehehe…

Again… It is easier to give advice than do it yourself…

Now, I know the feeling  ^___^

In the real world....this award goes to....


If you are a movie addict, then you often heard the winner of best performance saying like this, “Yes, my role is very difficult… Is about a lunatic person …” Or  “I am acting as a sociopath and therefore I have to do research…” etc… Most of them got the award for playing someone crazy or out of control or manipulator.

But in the real world, an award should be given to someone that really nice… Yeah, I know… Someone who already nice from the bottom of their heart or they just simply have it in their bone shouldn’t be count… But, actually…it is easier to be mean rather than being nice in the real world… 

If I asked you to be nice to someone that has put your life in the miserable way…can you do it? You would probably think that I am just being nuts.
Or to keep on helping someone that is so difficult and know only to be rude or suspicious…, I don’t think I can…
Or to keep a straight face and calm when facing to people who misjudged you and spread bad news about you behind your back…, I am sure that I can not…

Last one, I once watched a tv show about a young man who keep visiting the man who has shot him and left him for dead. The shooter finally touched by his victim… His victim was the only one who keep on visiting him especially when he was diagnosed having cancer.

Trust me… Being nice look so boring on tv (because they make it so…) but in reality…really hard to do…!

Me versus games

How on earth you did not attract to play any games on FB? That was the question my friend (who is a game lover) asked me a while back…

Well…, is not that I do not like playing games at all… There are two main reasons actually…

The first one…the internet connection is so damn slow! My blood pressure will go sky high while waiting the screen downloading all the games details from the internet… Is like waiting for winter here in this tropical country… This is my main reason not really into playing games online.

The second problem is from myself. I always takes things too seriously… I considered that playing game is a chance for other people to point my bad habits. And I really annoyed to get that kind of comments… Yeah, I know… Is silly…

For the second reason, let me give more examples…

There was this sort of game that my old office use to have for us the employees.

Once, the speaker asked the 1st person to memorize the following news :
There has been an accident in the corner of XXX street between a red sedan type of YYY and a blue pick up type of ZZZ.
The 1st person must tell the above news to the 2nd person in the exact sentences. The 2nd will tell the 3rd person. And there I was as the 4th person. Since I considered that news has long sentences…I decided to cut it short. So, from me to the 5th person the news become like this:
There has been an accident in the corner of XXX street between two cars. Finish.
The 5th person tell the above to the last person. And in the end, I was discovered as the person who broke the message. In the company, this could create a confusion because the news was not delivered correctly and complete.

Okay…

Then another time, I was paired with another colleague. I have to guide her (as her eyes covered with blinds) to walk in this street. If she misguided and walked into a forbidden zone, she would not be able to continue the game. As you may guess, I mislead my colleague to the wrong street. In the company, I would be a very bad supervisor as I was not able to give guidance to my subordinate. And will end with miscommunication and failed to reach the real purpose.

 Okay…

Another example was the PET SOCIETY game at Facebook. Someone commented that I have no taste at all as I was unable to decorate the house and the pet well… And the house looks so ordinary
Then another game about how to manage a burger diner starting from the farm, then how to recruit the employees, how to deal with customer… And since I was so unable to play that game, someone said that I am such a mess in management…


The above silly reasons are the things that make me not so into game online… They pointing bad things about me…, which probably good but I think I have enough listening about something silly about me… Even that is only about how to play the game…

Three things...


I was reading my old blog when I found this posting... Which was a bit interesting...
The priest in our church said that people nowadays are more attached to their things rather than the Holy Bible... So, I decided to make a list of which things that will make me panic if I have none of them with me…

My Wallet…
Obviously…! I keep my identity card, credit card and most important is : MONEY! Once I forgot to put back the wallet into my bag and left it inside my desk in the office. I frantically searched like crazy all the money in my bag…hoping that would be sufficient enough to pay for the bus fare. It was not. So, after panicking, cursing, angry at myself, I have to go back for about 20 minutes walk to the office just to get my wallet… So, yeah…obviously this item will definitely make me panic…if I forgot to bring it…

My handphone
There was this one time, I totally forgot to bring it to the office… All day long I really feeling agitated… I keep on searching my bag, hoping there would be a miracle that I did bring my handphone…only it was hidden underneath my books or wallet or umbrella…  Funny to think why I become so dependable to that thing… Years before this technology even exist…I was fine with it… People tends to keep their promises if we want to meet somewhere at the mall… Not like nowadays… Even with the technology, people tends to forget… And the annoying fact is, your friend is busier with this gadget than the conversation itself…
People now use handphone for not on the telecommunication purpose only. My nieces just need the handphone for playing games. I need it to have internet connection whenever and wherever. My friend need it to put all her e-books to be read along the way. We all in different ways are annoyingly addicted to it.
Annoying or not…, I have to admit…I will totally go freak if I do not have it with me. 

Television
I can stand not watching television for days up to weeks… But that rare occasion only happens if I am on holiday out from the city with my friends… Who needs to watch television when you are spending the whole days with friends? But at home? For days? For weeks? For months? Not watching tv? I do not know I can do that…
(While watching tv is actually can be replaced by reading books or going out to the park or whatever… And I call myself a bookworm…sighed)


From the previous list I include an internet connection… Not that I did not need it badly now… But with my handphone…I am still able to connect to the internet… So, you can see why I can go crazy if I did not have it with me, always…

Maybe I should learn to use them in lesser frequencies?


The Flying White Ant

My cousin told me that her daughters were being approached by talent scout to be a model and a movie actress. Her hubby rejected the idea as he did not want their daughters forgot their studies just for pursuing something like that…

I think her husband have reasons to be worried. Years ago, I heard from a colleague of mine about her neighbor. Her neighbor is a very pretty girl, at the peak of her teen’s age. One day she was offered to join an audition to get a lead role on this local soap opera. The girl, accompanied by her older sister went to the audition and later she was informed that she got the role. So, she went again to have a meeting with the producer accompanied with her sister. The producer then gave her a very shocking request. The girl would get the role if she agreed to go out with someone known by the producer. My colleague then asked the girl what was her answer. The girl said she refused. She said the offer was a big temptation. But the further request was also the thing that put her off. She realized she did not really want to enter the entertainment industry in that way. 

Sometimes, I think the entertainment industry is like a big lamp shining so brightly in the middle of the night. Attract those flying white ants…and as soon as they got near, they drop dead. We are that flying white ants. Can you imagine that an actress have huge income from just one episode of soap operas? Her salary for one episode probably the same with what we must earn in a month plus overtime. But then, we never know their struggle to get there. All we know all that shining bright success in front of television.
 
I suddenly remembered a colleague of mine used to say, “ I feel sorry for those celebrities… All cameras hunting them…quoting and make fun of whatever they said or do… I am glad I just a small time clerk… “

p.s. picture taken from http://www.tkmasjidsyuhada.com/cetak.php?id=144

I remembered her...

When I was still in the university, I have this class mate who also working as a model and an actress of several soap operas.

She, without a doubt is very beautiful. She even looks more beautiful when you see her in person. She has this beautiful soft and radiant skin. Her long hair makes her look more gorgeous. She was tall and slim… Well, a perfect picture.

I did not pay too much attention. If that famous person was a male, maybe I would not be able to take my eyes off him. She attended a class together with me. And one day, she sat next beside me. I was coughing from catching a cold. She noticed that and then suddenly she informed about a traditional medicine to cure the coughing. I was surprised and felt a bit embarrassed. Previously I thought she was probably a snob and here she offering her help. And I was not even asked her help. 

Then a few days later, she sat not beside me but still close. She borrowed a pen from me for writing something. And you know what…after that…she looked up and asked around,” Eh, whose pencil is this?”
Again, I was like…WHAT? So, you just pretend to be nice? You did not want everybody stamped you as being snob since you are an actress. So, you smile a lot and talked nice… But, actually you pay attention to nobody but yourself.

Years later, I read in the newspaper she managed to enter the parliament and now is a member there. Wondering what the heck she does actually? Flashing her big smile to anyone and probably doing nothing? Then again, she has that ability to talk in front of many people without a slight of nervousness. Smile that mega watt smile of hers to others. She knew how to make people listen to her otherwise they would not choose her, right? In the end, I am not surprise anymore she even make it to that position.

I just hope she really does her work and not become another faces in that position. 

When will be your turn?

Being single in the age of 37 is not an easy thing to do. Many people poking their nose around thinking that they can give good advice to me on how to live my life. Lots of them did not realize that they are being totally rude and aggressive. And sometimes I am a bit tired of making phony faces and being polite to them.

The following story below is something that I really imagining myself doing to those rude people… I got this story from forwarding email long time ago:
QUOTE
I am so annoyed that people especially the elderly who keep on asking me when will be my turn every time I attend a wedding party. They would look at me sniggering then pointing to the happy couple and asking that boring question,” So, when will be your turn?” And then they have their laughs.

Finally I have my revenge. There was this funeral that we all have to attend to. I saw them all the noisy elderly. So, after the funeral ceremony was over I walked to them. I grin the same grin as them, and then popped the question while glancing to the grave, “Soooo…, when will be your turn?”

It was very effective. None of them asked me when will be my turn to get married.
UNQUOTE

I still laugh every time I read that story.

Naturally I can’t say that because not only that will be sound so rude… And not to mention they are going to curse me into a toad for the next seven generations. Kidding… Though, once in a while I really, really, want to say that to those people who keep on asking me that question. 

Gathering with a friend

Earlier this day I went to see a friend that I have known through internet.

Being thirty something who loves reading and watching movies in my office is not easy. As NOBODY shares the same hobby. Seriously.

Then I get to know internet and decide to find new friends who share the same hobbies with me. At first we talked only about Korean movies through mailing list. Then few of them introduced me to a larger media that we known as a forum. In that forum, we can join thread that discuss only about Asian movies, or western movies, or books, health problem, working issues and many more. It was like they help me to open a new door to another dimension. 

After having known new people, naturally I want to meet them. And then escalate to have gathering then finally what all movie lovers will do together. We all went to see a movie: Spiderman 2…if I was not wrong. It was fun to have all seats occupied by all of us side by side. We even hang out afterwards to discuss about the movie at Starbuck. Well, after that…not all of us keep on staying in touch. But then, who needs a lot when few are enough?

The person that I met today was one of the few who still keep in touch though rarely. She just having her baby girl 8 months ago and this is really our first meeting.

I was a bit curious at first as to tell you the truth I am not really good when it come on hanging out with children. Especially those who wailing, crying, screaming…and screaming and screaming… Or those who can’t sit still and let their parents talk to us the friends. But this one was not anything like that… So, we managed to spend about 3 hours chatting to ask each other’s news and things. The only moment she cried was after we talked almost for 3 hours. Which we assume she was tired and therefore we ended the chat and went home.

What I learned from meeting with her is…we should not give up anything in this life. When we feel we have no friend no more that shares with our interest, then open that damn internet and go look for one.
When we feel that we have not tried all efforts to get what we want, then we should keep on trying…

And therefore, when we finally have something that we wish for a long time…we have to appreciate and cherish it…

Initiation aka hazing

When I was a lot younger, I love corresponding and collecting stamps. Postal office often published a complete series of lovely stamps which were cool for collection. So, there I was with my mother asking one of the staff to provide me with the stamps. The staff seems a new guy as I have never seen him before. He seems agitated and nervous especially seeing me (a high school kid) looking at him as if he was a total moron. My Mom nudged me then she whispered that I need to be patient. After that guy went to the other room in that post office to get my stamps, my Mom told me that I should not be impatient with him.

“But why?” I asked my Mom not satisfied. “He works here in the post office …he should have known whatever I ask about…”

My Mom looking at the other staffs behind the counter,” Pay more attention… Look…, those gentlemen usually the one who helped you, right? Now, they seem to let that new guy to handle the entire requests… The senior staffs always do that to the new recruits… They love watching the newbie get snapped by the customers…”

I started to look more closely. Yeah, my Mom was right. Those people who just sit there were usually the one who handle my stamps order. Now, they were smirking at each other looking at the newbie sweat with me…a school girl. Who asked a lot of stamps series which he has no clue about. After a while, the new guy brought all the stamps series that I have asked…and looked so relieved when I bought them all. A month later, there was no trace of nervousness in that new staff. He looked calm listening to all my requests and spent few minutes only. 

Starting from school until we entered working place, there unofficial thing called the initiation or if escalated into something worst, we know them as hazing process.

I remembered when I entered Junior and Senior High School up to the university. We have to bring vegetables in ridiculous form (like you have to bring a couple of bananas no longer than 35 centimeters or something crazy like that). We have to do whatever our senior told us to do. One time they told us to bring any kind of chocolates and they assure us that the chocolate will be eaten by all of us. It turn out they put all the chocolates under the blazing sun so all of them were melted. After that they told us to put blinds covering our eyes then we have to give the chocolate to each other. You can imagine what a mess all our faces were…covered with melted chocolates.

In the university, the initiation taken in two places, in the university’s building and previously we all have to go camping. Lots of newbie begged their parents to send sick letters to the university so they do not have to go. That was my first and last experience on camping, because…well…I am just not a camping-type of person. We have to get up early in the morning, joined the morning exercises. But the most torturing moment was the water so terribly dirty. Even though I took shower every after noon with my friends, I still got rash all over my body after finished that crazy camping trip.

The senior always loves making everything a bit hard with the newbie. Why? Because they feel…hey, I have to go through this process as well… So, how on earth you want to skip this process? We want you to respect us, the senior. Seniority is important otherwise you will have no manner. Besides, this is the chance for you to make bond with your friends because you are all in this together…

Bleh… From my point of view…that process is a completely waste of times. We have no respect whatsoever to the senior. And since we are unable to take revenge for the worst things they did upon us, we took our vengeance to the newbie. And they will repeat the vicious circle to another newbie and so on… Even until they are entering the adult’s world…

We just creating next generation fill with anger and hatred and the need to lash that out to someone else…

Alone watching ECLIPSE

Today out of the blue, I decided to go watch Eclipse by myself. My friend asked me to watch it last Saturday but I was not able to do so. Beside, watching movie during weekdays is a lot less stressing than watching it on weekend. I am able to arrive a few minutes before the movie started and then buy the ticket at the very last minute. And still able to get one! One? Yeah, I went to see the movie alone…  Anyway, if I go to see it during weekend…not only I have to be there hours before the movie started. As I have to endure the long queuing to get the ticket. Along with others who are dying to see it as well. Usually with new blockbuster movie like this, chances to get tickets are very slim. Even if we manage to get them, we have to sit separately…or worst… Sitting near the big screen! Which I can assure you that your eyes and head will explode due to tiredness to keep on looking up at the so big screen in front of you. 

So, there I was…10 minutes before the movie started I arrived at the theatre. Not so many people there. Probably teens who still enjoying their holidays. But only a few… This is why I love watching movies around lunch time… Even on weekends… Most people prefer to have lunch rather than watching a movie and only feel the stomach with snacks. The others are women around my age. The audience were only about 20 – 25 people including me.

At first I was a bit worried that there would be elementary students watching this movie sitting beside me. It turn out there were three teenager girls who keep on giggling all the way from the movie started until it ended. The reason I did not smack them because they also despise the character: Bella Swan.

Yep, actually I hate the female character: Bella Swan (starring Kristen Stewart in the movie). I think she is really despicable. She said she loves this handsome vampire Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) but she also toying around with the cute werewolf (with amazing 6-packs) : Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner)… I feel sorry for Jacob because he seems so in love with Bella while we the reader know she will not feel the same way to him.

Though I hate her character, but I kinda loves the series. Not as much as I love Harry Potter….but after reading the first book I decided I have to continue reading it until the last book. Then, naturally I have to see the movie. The first one not so good (IMHO), the second one…well…thanks to Taylor Lautner I was able to continue watching it until the movie ended. Because from all the books of Twilight Saga, I hate the second book the most. And the third sort of my favorite and I loves the outcome of the movie. Not too much kissy scenes with boring dialogues between Bella and Edward. The audiences get the chance to see a bit deeper about the other member of the Cullen’s family. There is also a story shared about the legend behind the werewolves among the Black families. The main story is still the same. Bella wants Edward to change her become a vampire. Edward wants to get married first because well he live from ages ago where marriage is important for him. Victoria reveal why she does not like Bella that much. Jacob keep on trying to express his love for Bella and does not hesitate to show that in front of Edward. My favorite scene was when Bella was freezing and Jacob come to help her warm. He stared coldly to Edward and said,”I am HOTTER than you…” Hahahaha… Love that one. What can I say…I am TEAM JACOB. And this movie also ended Victoria’s effort to kill Bella for her vengeance. And I should tell you, Edward is suck in fighting.

I think why the book and movies are such a hit with teenagers because well when we were teenagers we also never think too much further about the future. What we want and care is right now. If we can’t have what we want, in this case : Love, we feel there is no point to continue on living. There is and will be no other person to love and live. Our mind only fill with how we are going to achieve our wish whatever the consequences.

Again, no matter how people fret about how this movie is not good for teens or whatever… I still admire the author. She wrote good stories and able to attract us the reader to keep on reading until the story ended. I am sure most of us have figured how the story will end. But we want to know how it will come to that ending. What happens to other characters? Will everyone have what they want in the end? 

Well, to find it you should read or watch the movie ^___^ And considering that I am willing to watch two movies of these series by myself…well…it means I loves the story. What can I say? Stories about vampires always attract me and for sure I will wait for the last chapter of this series.

GO TEAM JACOB!

Nightmare in the real world



 You would think that by working in the office, people will have manner… Well, not really… After all, do not judge the book by its cover… They may look dashing, gorgeous; have high education (by meaning high, it means they graduated from abroad)…dress fashionably… It does not matter… You will shock to see what they really look like…especially if they have power to do so…

Someone I know once told me about her boss who always manage to find discouraging words every time his subordinates made mistakes:
“You are such a moron… How on earth you get a job here?”
“You graduated from university? Hah! I do not believe you… You are such an idiot…”
“How stupid can you get? Are you really that airhead?”

Other told me about his supervisor who always screaming every time they encountered a problem. She did not try to clear up the mess but wasting time to try who is the guilty perpetrator in the first place. Not to mention she is easily panic on almost about everything. When she was mad, she would scream at the guilty person while her forefinger keeps on pointing. She could spend those valuable seconds to be angry rather than try to fix the problem first. Well, if after that she wants to hang the guilty person it would be another story…

Another told me about horrific story about her crazy old manager with her psycho thirty something supervisor. They were arguing about something then the argument escalated into yelling contest and heated up more with throwing things at each others. Things that they thrown started from calculator, books, stapler and anything near them. Nobody tried to separate them apart fear they might get hit with the things that they kept on throwing at each other…

What about me? Oh, surely I have one… Probably I did this to myself because I know I am really a difficult person to handle with. She made my first working year miserable. I remembered crying in the bathroom (yeah, yeah, I am such a cry baby)… Wishing I could just quit but I need the job… She loves screaming at me (or at anyone else for that matter) if I made mistakes… When she gave out papers she sort of throw them away… I realized I have to have two-faces in dealing with her. Sadly, that was the fact that I have to deal with. Come to think of it, I think most of my seniors loves screaming at newbies. I have no idea why as I do not think we are that moron in doing our chores. So, I suppose it was just their hobby.

What is the best way to deal with them? Sadly I can not give any advice as I have chosen the safest way. I just say yes to whatever she asked in order to avoid listening her screaming. I talked nice, I acted nice… Wondering though until now what would happen if I just quit… But, I did not…

So, my advice is…just ask yourself whether the job is worth with your pride… If you think the environment is not healthy and you are ready to take risk… then I think you should quit. Heck, the first year in the office will be the year that make us what we are now. Either we become good or bad person…  It is all up to us…

they are (not) all that


Once upon a time, there were two girls who became best friends in college. Their faces were sort of alike and people often thought them as siblings. Both have long hair, chubby cheek, big belly. But the other was shorter and actually a year older.

Then the older started a diet program and become much slimmer than the other one. The other one was happy for her friend, at first. Until her friend feel that she is all that. Thinking now that she was so pretty she has became a new attraction for men in the university. She laughed at all those men that were never realized she ever existed. She started to date few men and naturally forget about her friend.

When people have drastic changes in their life, often they flaunting it. They start to feel that they are all that. And underestimate other people that shared the previous condition. This kind of people feel that they have successfully managed their life, control their lust over something, their will is strong to get what their want. And therefore they see the others as a weak people. Have no strong will, easy fall to something that they actually could prevent.

But, I think the main reason was because the successful one feels these failed people remind him or her of what they have been for all their life. The neglected one, the uncountable, the rejected, and so on… He or she once in that position, they hate their old life and therefore they keep tormenting these people including their old friends…

I also think is kinda sad that they choose to behave badly to the people that have been very supportive in the first place… And since they choose to erase their past including their friends… then maybe they are not worth to be our friends at all… After all, she or he is not all that…